In my feelings...

The other day on my drive to work I heard a story on the radio that broke my heart. It was about a young girl who had a terminal disease and had only days left of life. Her wish was to marry her best friend one day and he agreed. Mind you they were both under 10, never the less the parents set up a ceremony and they got "married". The young girl died just a couple days later...

It pained my heart but as much as I wanted to sit there and shed a tear, I was running late so I rushed out from my car and buried it. Almost toward the end of my 4 hour shift a little boy approached me and asked if I worked there. He told me his mom was having a hard time finding her size so I followed him back to his mother who had her back towards me.

"Mommy I found someone to help you!" he said excitedly as she turned around. Half of her face, chest and her left arm were covered in burn marks... "Malachi don't bother the lady, I'm ok" she said embarrassed avoiding eye contact. I asked her what size she needed and offered my help but she declined- so I wrote her size down for Malachi and showed him how to look for it on the drawers. He is 6yrs old and had a younger brother with him no older than 3. As they were leaving he approached me again and said  "I'm sad we couldn't find her size but thank you for your help." The look of disappointment in his eyes, like he let his mom down- it burned right through me.

I couldn't help but wonder what happened to her. Did she run into a burning building to save her sons? Did an abusive husband burn her in an act of violence for trying to keep her boys safe? I'll never know, but what I do know is that Malachi looked at his mother like she was the most beautiful woman in the world and he loves her deeply.

Then I got home and watched some Grey's Anatomy and cried my eyes out... There is so much that I feel through out my day that I can't react to, that finally being able to feel and express it openly from under my covers is a much needed cathartic release. And then after all of that, I get to lay down in my comfy bed, in my house, next to my loving husband, with our healthy loving children sleeping upstairs and our loyal dogs laying close by protective of us all. Overwhelmed with gratitude, I back to waterworks until I eventually fall asleep...

I used to hate being so darn sensitive and emotional, but I feel so blessed to have the ability to emphasize, sympathize and feel so deeply. Just as the smallest things can bring so much pain, they can also bring so much joy! It's almost funny when my 5yr old sees me tearing up and asks me "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" and I have to explain happy tears.

It's ok to feel folks! You're entitled to having emotions- just don't stay stuck in a bad one... Night will fall, but the sun will always rise again. 🌞

Cloth Diapering: It isn't for everyone

As we get ready to move here, I've started digging through my "junk closet" and I've found many precious gems that I had left to be forgotten. I stumbled across my Cloth Diaper stash from Just Simply Baby and I started going down through memory lane.

As a teen mom, I didn't know what to expect with my first child. One thing I did do was count how many diapers per day/week/month my baby used and I saved all of my receipts. Total for 2.5yrs of full diapering and 3/4 of a year of pull ups my total investment on disposable diapers was $3,847.92 and it all ended  up in the garbage.

When I found out I was expecting baby #2 I could not figure out how I would find enough money to diaper! and that's when I ran across an add for cloth diapers. I used to think of CD's as something ugly and difficult and potentially dangerous (large pins and all) but when I  clicked through the website I was delighted to see how wrong I was. These diapers were cute, simple to use, eco friendly and would save me a ton! I ordered my first diaper kit for $100 which got me 10 diapers, a changing pad and a wet bag.

I found myself washing these diapers EVERY DAY and it was daunting because I couldn't be too far from home because I'd have to wash and dry them or be out! So then I spent another $250 and got an additional 25 diapers. Now we were talking! With a 35 diaper stash I only had to wash every 3rd day. Silly me though, baby #2 was a girl so I ordered everything pink and cute not thinking ahead... 5months later we were expecting baby #3 and low and behold it was a boy!

No one would be looking at what color his diapers were and baby #2 was a little older now so she didn't use as many diapers as she did in the beginning but now we were back to washing nearly every day. So I did what any reasonable person would do! I invested another $350 for 35 diapers and now we had 70 diapers! as they both grew a little more I found myself only having to wash diapers once weekly but I'd do it twice because it can get a bit stinky!

Soon baby #2 was out of diapers and baby #3 was rocking the cloth. I had a rotation I had worked out where I'd use a number of diapers for a week then change them entirely out for another set, so on and so forth. I even had a stash that was brand new and didn't get used because the other diapers were clean and ready to be used again.

Then when my husband deployed I kinda feel off the wagon. I started only using cloth at home but started purchasing disposables for when we were out. I eventually just quit on cloth. I probably spent about another $400 in disposable diapers until my son potty trained. So in total I spent a whooping $1100 for diapering 2 babies in comparison to what I originally spent on my first.

I must admit that cloth diapering is not for the faint of heart. It can be gross, it can smell really bad, you have to lug around bulky stuff. Once when we visited my mom in California from Virginia I had to use a whole luggage bag specifically just for diapers. Then you totally have to rely on having a washing machine and you need special treatment of your washing rituals because CD's must not come into contact with fabric softener or it's residue.

But if you are dedicated to being eco friendly, or have a child with sensitive skin, or are simply just broke and in need of desperate drastic measures- then this could be for you!

 I researched several companies while looking for a brand I could trust and the reason why I settled with JBS was because they had a wide variety of options with inserts, prints & styles. I found them to be the most cost effective PLUS they were the ONLY company who offered a 30 day return policy! Can you imagine dishing out $350 on cloth diapers only to find out you hate it and be stuck with your purchase or sell at a loss! How disappointing. Everyone else had the disclaimer that due to the nature of the items returns were not accepted. Hog Wash! And that's why we went with JBS. Plus the customer service is amazing, the owner Katie is such a dear. A little hand written note in every package a long with instructional pamphlets and packaged with love.

Wicked cool part? They have an affiliate program! You can earn 10% in store credit or 5% cash of any referral sales! What better way to fulfill your fluff addiction and make the world a better place?

Do you cloth diaper? Have you ever thought about it? Would you be interested in trying them out?



*Disclaimer: I'm part of their affiliate program. Purchases through the links may help contribute to the expenses of running this blog. Thanks.

Goodbye Joneses

Lets start over from scratch for the sake of my sanity.

This past 2 years I've been trying to "keep up with the Joneses" and I'm done.

I put my mental health, friendships, relationships and my life at stake trying to 

keep up a facade. 

If you are doing that right now please stop and save yourself the trouble.

I'm gonna go against the grain here and just be completely honest & sincerely human.

I am flawed, I'm the furthest thing from perfect & I'm finally coming to terms with that.

I do not have all the answers, I do not have any magical solutions and I have succumbed to the pressure of life. 

This year It's all about me and my family. My husband got orders (Military) to PCS to VA this spring and we're currently in the process of buying our first home. I'm really excited and looking forward to the changes. 

Resolutions aside, these are goals for this year:

1. Quit my retail therapy addiction
2. Empty my hoarding closet
3. Begin consistently contributing to our finances
4. Launch a YouTube channel
5. Teach my oldest about entrepreneurship 
6. Get her business started (she wants to make and sell crafts)
7. DIY the majority of our new home's needs
8. Lose the extra weight by my birthday
9. Bullet Journal Daily
10. Read all the books in my bedside bookshelf 
11. Pay off my credit cards
12. Believe in me again

I highly encourage you to make this year YOUR year- literally. 

Make your health & well being your priority!

Happy New Year! Until Next time <3

We are Family

So we've been having a series in church about family life and today was the last and final part focusing on parenting. It really hit home for me & I feel like I have to share it with you.

(Listen to the podcast here)

Parenting: It's not about controlling their behavior, 

it's about capturing their hearts

     Parenting is tough, and we make mistakes. We have messed up and we will continue to mess up. We're not perfect, and thats ok. Don't bee too proud to let your children know: "Mommy &/or Daddy isn't perfect and I'm sorry, but thats why you have Jesus. He can heal you and your heart if I hurt it or if I can't help you heal it. I don't have all the answers but he can help me love you better if you pray for me, just like I pray for you."

Surround yourself with Godly parenting examples, glean from them. Observe & listen. Our parenting requires 4 stages: Discipline, Training, Coaching and Friendship. First things first- if you're a single parent sit down and make a list of the things you want to to teach your kids and the things you will absolutely not stand for. If you're married, make sure you both agree and that you back each other up instilling and drilling in these core values. The example used where the non tolerable Dx3- Disobedience, Dishonesty & Disrespect.

Starting with Discipline (Ages 1-5) You must TEACH your children that there are consequences for their actions- GOOD and BAD. ***Be extremely careful when it comes to physical discipline. In the heat of the moment discipline is just a hairline away from abuse. Don't cross that line, don't lose your child, this is considered disrespect and it causes distrust. 

It doesn't matter how you do it but do it- discipline diligently, consistently and calmly.  Remind yourself that "the days are long, but the years are short." They grow up so fast and before you know it they are out in the world and the biggest thing they take with them is the memories you shared and the things you instilled in them. Discipline them in their mistakes and PRAISE them in their efforts, accomplishments and successes. It is equally important that you purposely catch them doing right. Shed light on their positive actions, it's both empowering and encouraging to them.

Training (Ages 6-11) This is reinforcing the foundations, it includes discipline but it's a different type of discipline. In their early stages you teach them to do things your way, in this stage they start thinking and making their own way. Tell them daily "God has a plan for you and you do not want to miss it!" Drill your love into your children by continuously encouraging them and reminding them they are loved. Help them make the right decisions but don't make decisions for them. Let them fail, don't bail them out. This will teach them that things go wrong, and it will encourage them to seek your guidance. The stakes are low at this age,  resiliency is a great thing to learn early. Ask them: "What do you think Jesus would do?"  allow them to think and come to conclusions. I think the reason why "Common sense" isn't so common these days is because people tried too hard to control the actions of their children without making them think about it. Once they were old enough to break free of the control they had no incentive to think deeper.

Coaching (Ages 12-18) Give wise council. It's important that you teach them early on to show respect to you, their siblings and themselves. Cultivate speaking life. Daily tell them something positive about them, something you love. You must tell them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. You are the parent not the friend! They have plenty of friends in school! Do NOT fear that they will stop liking you- they probably will and that's OK, because later they will and later is longer that right now. A quick way to know how you're doing in your parenting: stop and listen to the way they talk to their dolls, their siblings & their friends. They're little mirrors! You will hear  yourself come out of their mouth often, so give them something positive, kind and wise to repeat! When they're in the wrong, don't get mad, get grieved. Draw near to their disobedience & remind them that there is a better way.

Build them up daily- you are their advocate! It is not your job to control their actions, it's your job to capture their hearts by showing them love and appreciation- because mom/dad, if you don't do it they will go out and seek it from somebody else. Capture their hearts with YOUR LOVE and lead them closer to Christ.

Friendship (Ages 18-#) From early youth do your part to intercept faith with decision making. God is real, he's not just a fictional character in an old book. Bed time stories? Read a chapter of the bible daily. Scary, personal, difficult questions? Do not be afraid to be transparent: "I did things wrong but God has a better way for you" Allow them to learn from you so they don't have to search for the answers in the world. Openly speak about relationships. "Purity paves the way. " "There's no shame in waiting!" "Don't act like you're married when you're not" "Always make your intentions known" "Foreplay is not end play" SEX IS NOT FOR GROWN PEOPLE, IT'S NOT FOR INLOVE PEOPLE, IT'S FOR MARRIED PEOPLE.  Keep it that way and avoid the void in your soul and the pain in your heart. 

If you lay your foundations right and capture their hearts you will have made a friend for life. Your children will seek your advice, will look to you for comfort and will take heed in your words.

Stay blessed. Love your children & remember: Dare to be loved! <3

Fellowship Found Friendship

We watched God's Not Dead at Bible study today.

I really enjoyed it! What a powerful reminder that there even during the times when God calls us to do something we are afraid to do, we must rest assured He can use it to touch many lives.

And also that we might be the only Jesus someone may see.

My prayer is that I may be bold to step out in faith to follow his command without hesitation.

I can be pretty outspoken at times, but self doubt has held me back. Note to self: don't be self reliant or try to be self sufficient- let go & let God.

On a different note, every morning before school we are watching "The Bible" series on NetFlixs, it's pretty cool to hear my 7yr old tell me "I know that guy, I learned/read about him." This past Sunday they gave out notebooks to every child in Champions church, she is to read a chapter every day & write down her favorite scripture. I find it quite beautiful to add this as a habit to her daily lifestyle.

There's people who struggle with reading the word of God, mostly laziness or lack or priority. 
Myself included. When the year started we took on the challenge to read the Bible's in a year. 
66 books in 52 weeks. The daily reading took anywhere form 10-15 minutes, nothing crazy.  
We spend the same amount of time or longer on Facebook & checking our emails. 
I'm sad to report that WE ALL FAILED OUT of the challenge.

Once you missed a day or two, it became tedious to catch up draining on you- but not impossible.  As ashamed as I am to admit it, I stopped trying. Ashamed because I know that when things are important you make time for it, otherwise you make an excuse. 
What does the Bible say about reading God's word?

2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV 

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

Matthew 4:4 ESV 

But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Joshua 1:8 ESV 

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

1 Timothy 4:13 ESV 

Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching.

1 Peter 2:2 ESV

Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—

Proverbs 4:20 ESV 

My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.

It should never feel like a burden to read his word. When you love someone, you WANT to spend time with them.   So if we love Jesus- why is it hard for us to spend some time  with him reading his word? You would't settle with telling your husband "I love you" once a day or once a week or  think it  would be sufficient, right?

Picture this. You go on vacation and you ask your neighbor to check on your mail.  He saw you had a "FINAL NOTICE"  from the library. You owed $8.75 for overdue book & they were sending you to collections and your neighbor decides to pay it for you. When you find out, you would feel thankful. It wasn't a lot of money but at least it won't go on your record affecting your credit score. Maybe  you will take him out for coffee. 

Different scenario, the "FINAL NOTICE" was from your car loan. You've missed 3 payments and owe $1,500. They are reporting you to a debt collector & repossessing your car. Your neighbor pays for it and you had no way to pay him back. You're incredibly grateful. You praise them, run their errands, and help them in every way you can, etc. You owe them big time after all. 

Jesus is your neighbor, this time the "FINAL NOTICE"  is from hell.  You owe your life due to the sin you've allowed into your life & He pays your debt with his own life. 
You can't EVER pay it back. So couldn't we in the least read a few chapters a day with him??? 

I have been ungrateful for His sacrifice. I want to learn his commands, meditate on his word day & night. I want to be nourished by His word DAILY. I may be on a "diet"  to change my body, but as far as my spirit is concerned, I think it's definitely time for a double portion.

Feed your Faith. Dare to be Loved.

  I'm truly blessed that God has put these ladies in my life. We're 6 months into deployment and I know I'm not alone. These ladies are beautiful inside & out. A warm smile, a positive message, a sweet gesture. Exactly what I need at the precise moment I need it. I wanted to fellowship to find friendship and I walked away with family <3

You should let your smile be your most commonly worn accessory. It is beautiful, it is priceless, and it matches every outfit in your closet.

Daring to Dream

I haven't been keeping up. I've been crazy running around like a lost sheep without a trail. I've been wandering in the dessert & I have been wanting for more.
But why more? More of what? More shoes, more food, more clothes, more money, more friends, more time... No... What I needed more of was Jesus.
I signed up for this and that, I went here & there... searching, wanting & not finding.
What's missing? My husband! My spiritual leader! I miss him!!!
I'm tired, I'm exhausted, It's been one thing after another. I wanted a break, I needed a break, but I wasn't getting one. Why? Was this a test? Did I have to keep going through it because I was failing & I couldn't get on to the next level until I passed?
Then something happened. One of my friends from bible study, who's been itching to start working out but couldn't due to pregnancy had her baby. Her husband is deployed & she has an older child. A mutual friend from bible study,  pretty much took over the parenting  responsibilities.
 This friend's husband was away for a 6wk training & she has a child of her own. While he was gone, she decided to start  her health & fitness challenge. She made a lifestyle change by doing Insanity. I saw the exhaustion in her eyes, but not once did she complain.
I watched said child for a night & it was a very interesting dynamic to have 4 children under 1 roof with no help, but it was refreshing.
 An act of selfless service ~ just a splash of joy to my thirsting soul.

I started to look around, I another friend of mine who has autistic twins is making changes to her lifestyle, she started out with P90X3 & then Les Mills Combat. She has lost 30lbs since the year started- her husband is also deployed. My neighbor has 5kids, the 4th has trisomi 18 & has surgeries coming up, she too is doing her fitness while her husband is deployed. A photography client of mine also has a special needs child with surgeries coming up. Her husband just recently deployed & I had the privilege to shoot some family pictures before his departure & she's been working hard on her fitness. Another client & now friend of mine with a deployed spouse & child, went back home to finish her high school credits to earn her diploma AND started working on her fitness. Where am I getting with this?
While I was feeling sorry for myself & my lack of joy & desire- these strong powerful women started flourishing  like flowers in spring around me. What did they all have in common? Fitness.

SO I looked into my own fitness, I was working out sporadically, enough to maintain but not enough to push forward. I was going through the motions. I'd burn off 300 calories to justify eating an extra serving of food. Not necessarily junk food, but out of my proportions. 
I know my weaknesses. I'm an emotional eater. When I feel bad, I eat, when I eat, I gain weight, when I gain weight, I feel bad & the cycle starts over. Missing my husband was making me sad but do I want my husband to come home to a fat, sad/angry wife? No. Do I want my kids to watch me put myself through that? No. So I said: Enough, something's gotta give. 
Then God winked at me. I had just finished my sewing orders when I got recommended & chosen out of a list of several to shoot a home school graduation. I've always had it in my heart to home school. But how? 

We barely get by on a single government subsidized income & my husband wants out. We've talked about him staying in long enough for all the kids to start school before separating from the military because lets face it, no way, no how a family of 5 can survive in this economy out in the civilian world off a single income. 

"Well why don't YOU work?" I often get asked. "Even if I did get a job, I'd end up paying more than my pay check to cover child care expenses, we'll need a second car, pay insurance on that, gas... it costs money to make money!"
So I met these kids & they were wonderful well rounded individuals. I looked at their parents and they were proud & fulfilled. I asked a set of moms "How do you like homeschooling?" ~ "It's well worth the sacrifice, but it has to be in your heart." 

I came home & I started VISUALIZING what it would be like, except my phone kept beeping with facebook notifications & I kept getting side tracked. 

Then God winked at me again. On a single income, we can't afford fancy phones, so my little android keeps running out of memory space. The biggest chunk of memory space was being occupied by facebook- what a coincidence, so was my day. So with all the pain in my heart, I did the unthinkable, I deleted the app. 
It freed up the memory on my phone & it freed up so much time for me too. 

So what did I do on facebook? I read people's status updates... hmmm reading... wait a minute, I HAVE a list of things I wanted to complete over deployment... where was it? Oh there it wass #1. Read 9 books, 1 per month of deployment. Holly molly we're on month 3, I'm 3 books behind!!!

Did you know that 58% of high school graduates wont read another book after leaving high school? Crazy right? Well if you know me, you know that I don't take kindly to being called a statistic, so I try my hardest to do the opposite.
So I started reading my Bible again, but for real this time, I've been reading for about a week straight & writing about it! Finding the Rhema, Promise, Command, Warning & Application out of my reading. 
Then I looked at my bookshelf & out of the approximately 20 new books that I have yet to read, the one that called out to me was: "The Slight Edge: Secret to a Successful Life" By Jeff Olson

I invested in this book about 4yrs ago when I had joined a business opportunity I quit on... I have signed up for 8 different business opportunities in the past century & the one thing they all shared in common was: SELF DEVELOPMENT.
 
So I started to read. There's 168 pages in this book I'm on page 117- wow, what a game changer.
I was so filled with purpose & desire that I went out & purchased another 8 books! Now I have my 9 titles to read by deployment's end!

Self development is knowledge & knowledge is power. So this entire week I've been pushing myself harder in my work outs, I started walking/jogging, I started waking up earlier, I actually finally started practicing the 3 vital behaviors for success. 

2 nights ago I visited a church with a friend of mine & it was amazing. She too is working on her fitness. Sadly I became privy of a struggle she is going through. This is a very dear friend to me, so her struggle hurt deep in my heart, because I've been there. I immediately took the personal development CD's out of my stereo & handed them over. I hope she listened to them. All the drive home I prayed, when I got home I prayed before bed & yesterday morning when I woke up the burden was so heavy in my heart but I had run out of thoughts & words.

Romans 8:26-28 The Message (MSG)

^26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

During the visit of that church I was reminded of who I serve, the great I AM, the all powerful, all knowing, all wonderful & all mighty God. There was an altar call, we should have gone up but she held back. God nudged me to nudge her, but she declined & I settled. We were in the 3rd row, closed in by 2 other people but the 2 rows in front of us were empty. Had I been bold enough I would have more than happily jumped over the seats to get to the front... but my feet were glued to the ground. In the church where I was saved, during encounter, they told us the holly spirit could not speak through us if we didn't open our mouths. I heard people speaking in tongues & it was frightening. I didn't open my mouth then, I was too afraid. Well not anymore, if not for anything else this week of self development brought me to the conclusion that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and God has plans to prosper me and not to harm me. What ever I ask for in the name of Jesus will be granted, but I must:

Matthew 7:7-11 The Voice (VOICE)

⁷ Just ask and it will be given to you; seek after it and you will find. Continue to knock and the door will be opened for you. ⁸ All who ask receive. Those who seek, find what they seek. And he who knocks, will have the door opened.

⁹ Think of it this way: if your son asked you for bread, would you give him a stone? Of course not—you would give him a loaf of bread. ¹⁰ If your son asked for a fish, would you give him a snake? No, to be sure, you would give him a fish—the best fish you could find. ¹¹ So if you, who are sinful, know how to give your children good gifts, how much more so does your Father in heaven, who is perfect, know how to give great gifts to His children!

So I opened my mouth, and he spoke, tears flowing down my face, arms lifted high & my face to the heavens. What an amazing feeling of overwhelming peace. Friend,if you're reading this, read Romans 8:28-39. Everything is going to be ok.

Whats the point to my story? Evey thing effects everything. The condition of your personal growth has an effect on your physical & spiritual fitness which affects your physical health, thus affecting your emotional health, your financial health, your relationships, your purpose,& how you spend your time.

I don't have time or the desire to be upset or have negative energy over things I can't control. I've got 3 kids I have to put a happy face on for. Be I; sick, sore, tired, lonely- I do what I have to do. I will struggle, but the thing that I thank God I learned early in life, it's that Life is 10% what happens & 90% how you deal with it. There is a very dark deep painful emotional loneliness & depression that can swallow me whole if I let it. But if I let it, what service am I doing my husband& my kids?

 I Love my husband, and I am proud of what he's doing. Yes, I've got my hands full with my munchkins but he's sacrificing his bed, his cuddle sessions, our quality time & affection- for what? to provide for US.
 The very least I can do for him, is to I get up, get dressed, show up AND get on with the day regardless of how I'm feeling.I have finally found my WHY POWER.

 I don't just think  that it would be nice if my husband came home to a fit wife. I desire with my inner most being to do my very best to make him proud of me. I want him to know that his sacrifices were not in vain. I want to shock & awe him when he gets home with what I've accomplished while he was away. 
I don't want him to come home to the me I was before he left, because although there's nothing wrong with that me, that me can be so much better. I am not yet to where I want to be, but I'm much better that where I used to be & he deserves every single improvement & upgrade. 

The thing about wanting things, is that you can either sit back thinking about what you want wishing that your dreams would come true, if you still allow yourself to dream. Or you can get up and do whatever it takes to go get them.The only way to build your dreams is to build them. Literally. So build your dreams or get hired to build someone elses dream. 

My plate is full, my hands are full, my day is not nearly long enough to accomplish the things I set out to do. But I try my best do them, because I want my husband to know that I love him & I want to honor him &God with everything I do. I choose to do something positive with my current situation, my unfortunate circumstance.

You CAN help others only IF help yourself FIRST, so do yourself a favor & pick up a self development book & read just 10 pages a day. For things to get better,YOU have to get better. Do that which will move you forward & onward. The week has 7 days and "Someday" is not one of them. Ultimately YOU decide what you do. The choice is yours. Ask. Seek. Knock. Dare to dream & dare to be loved.

I'm dreaming & I'm dreaming big. Fitness is definitely the industry to work in. In a world of instant gratification- fast food is on the rise. A new McDonald's just opened outside gate 4! 

I'm believing God for success. A Prophet told my husband he has an evangelical pastoral calling on his life & he has a missionary heart. We're supposed to tithe 10% of our earnings to God, I declare here & now that my goal is to make enough to where I can support our family with 10% of our income so we can give 90% back. Missionary trips, new churches, schools, shelters, wherever God needs us I want to go there. 
We can't go now because we cannot afford it, but if God has put it in my heart I know there is a reason. 
Yes I know, those are big dreams, but guess what? My God is BIGGER! There are no impossibles for him.

Want to start your own fitness journey? Click _--->Here

Fitness: It's more than Physical

 Before I decided to commit myself to a lifestyle change, I never really gave thought to why it is important. I mean yeah, there's benefits to working out. It means I could loose a little weight, and maybe feel a little better about myself. After all cardiovascular exercise is good for your heart, and thus for your wallet (less medical expenses in the future) But as good as that sounds, it just wasn't all that motivating...

After all I'm married & my husband loves me no matter what size I wear. I could probably just fix my depression (due to over eating & lack of self love) with some anti-depressants. If I feel fine right now- We can just deal with the future & medical issues when I get there... right????

But...Is not working out OK? Am I benefiting from settling and not trying to improve? Am I just meant to just be fine with being unhappy with my weight & the size of my jeans? And Is being too busy, or not having enough money right now (because I don't prioritize my health over Netflix, fast food & gas to drive to the store that's just 3 blocks away) an acceptable excuse for putting off self improvement?

Excuses after excuses (that seemed like reasonable reasons) kept me from making the change for a while. I stayed sick & tired of being sick & tired and it made me even more sick & tired... and then I came across this:

Instantly I felt convicted... We were made in the image of Christ, our lives were purchased at a very high price, and my body is a temple... but I sure wasn't treating it like so...
Was my lifestyle a reflection of my faith? Was I honoring God with my body and giving him glory with my habits? I got to thinking about the 7 deadly sins... (as defined in Wiki)

• 3.1 Lust Lust is equivalent to intense desire which could involve the intense desire of sex, pleasure, money, food, fame, or power as well. 

Have you ever lusted after food? Have you ever watched a commercial about food and suddenly got the craving? Did you mouth water as you visualized the flavors in your mouth, and the satisfaction in your tummy? A common term on the web these days to describe a succulent meal  is "Food Porn" . Food has become an idol to some of us. I'm not immune to this! I often battle between starting my day with Shakeology (meal replacement shake) followed by healthy less appealing food that nourishes me instead of just indulging in fatty deliciousness...

• 3.2 Gluttony Gluttony is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste, the excessive desire for food causes it to be withheld from the needy, gluttony can be interpreted as selfishness; essentially placing concern with one's own interests above the well-being or interests of others. A more expansive view of gluttony, could also include an obsessive anticipation of meals, and the constant eating of delicacies and excessively costly food. 

If you are: eating too soon, eating too expensively, eating too much, eating too eagerly, eating too daintily or eating wildly you might be guilty of gluttony. Are you the first one to dig in to the platter and fight over the last piece?? I know I have

• 3.3 Greed Greed is an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs, especially with respect to material wealth. 

Are there any holes in your pockets? Is there maybe something that you're spending your money on that you don't really need?  Could you put aside an allowance for proper maintenance of your temple? I myself  was hoarding fabric, crafting supplies & bags from 31gifts... they're so cute & adorable!!! I didn't have enough money for a fitness program because I didn't put a value to my body & health- but Jesus decided I was worth his blood!!! Surely I had to make some changes..

• 3.4 Sloth While sloth is sometimes defined as physical laziness, spiritual laziness is emphasized, a sloth has also been defined as a failure to do things that one should do. 

 Personally I think, as a Christian, that spiritual fitness & physical fitness go hand in hand. How can we say we love God and not read our bibles (spiritual bread)? How could we invite Jesus into our hearts & ask the holy spirit to reside in us and not spend at least 25-30 mins at least 5 times a week to maintain his temple? While the Bible doesn't depict Jesus pumping iron it says He walked from one place to another. People followed him- not came to him... He exerted physical effort!! He also showed self control and restraint during his 40 day fast. He, being the son of God, could have made everyone cater to him & carry him around without him having to lift a finger. I know for me It can be difficult to choose to wake up earlier to get a good uninterrupted workout & read my bible while I'd rather just sleep in...

• 3.5 Wrath  Wrath is also known as "rage", can be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger- in its purest form, presents with self-destructiveness, violence, and hate. Feelings of anger can manifest in different ways, including impatience, revenge, and self-destructive behavior, such as drug abuse or suicide.  

Have you ever felt wrath of self? When you tried that 2week diet and lost 10lbs only to gain 12 back? And   instead of trying harder you just binged on food then told yourself off and wondered if you were better off dead??? (I've been there) That's not God's plan for me, not for you either...

• 3.6 Envy  Envy is similar to jealousy in that they both feel discontent towards someone's traits, status, abilities, or rewards. The difference is the envious also desire the entity and covet it.

 Have you ever had that skinny friend who could eat an entire pizza and was still a size 0? "Man I wish I had that metabolism, I wish my clothes fit like that..." This has crossed mine- about my husband! While not all of us are born with the skinny gene, we have the ability to do something about it. Stop wishing and start doing!

• 3.7 Pride  It is identified as believing that one is essentially better than others, failing to acknowledge the accomplishments of others, and excessive admiration of the personal self. 

Oh my friend works out & looks & feels great- whatever- I don't need to do all that. I'm perfect the way I am... (high cholesterol and ALL) I am God's princess and I am under grace- So I can get away with not working out & indulging in yummies... God loves us so much that he gave his only son to die for us even though we were sinners. Jesus died for you... but are you living for him?

 I quickly realized that the path I was on wasn't getting me to a happy destination, they are called the 7 deadly sins for a reason... and we know that the wages of sin is death. It was a WAKE UP call. Since I started my lifestyle transformation journey so much has changed. My mood has improved, my energy has increased, I've lost inches & self wrath. I've been more appreciative of what God has done, in doing and will do. I've dug deeper into his word and rejoice up keeping my temple.

If the physical isn't a motivation to make a change, dig deeper. Where do you want to be this time next year? 5yrs? 10yrs? Is your current lifestyle gonna take you there? Could you improve in any area of your life? While fitness brings along physical benefits, it also brings discipline, it helps build good habits & character.

If you have kids, what are you teaching them? Know that they are watching you, and being influenced by you. What's the example you are setting? Are we ignoring the problems and hoping they go away? Are taking the cheap fix easy way out like popping pills and wrapping something around you for 45mins- or do we set goals, work hard & stick to them?

Being a beach body coach keeps me accountable, I've gotten to meet wonderful people. I've inspired some of them and been able to see a transformation in  my challengers physical & spiritual journey. I'm not writing this post to try to sale you something or influence you to buy from me- I simply wanted to put this out as a self reflection post. Get a DVD @ Walt-mart if that's your budget. The point is to start somewhere. Work hard in all you do and honor God with your actions. Stop polluting your temple.

Dare to be loved & accepted, not just by God, but by yourself.