Do you journal?
I'll be the first to admit that sometimes journaling feels like a chore, a bore, and at times it even feels torturesome. (Yes I'm aware that's not really a word)
However, every time I do journal for a continued period of time, I see the benefit of doing so.
I'm not going to list the benefits, because I'm sure you already know them, and if you don't, they're simple a google or Pinterest search away.
There are probably tons of blogs about it, and that's not really the point of why I'm writing this.
So, why am I bringing this up you might ask...
Well here it is: I have been attending something called CR or Celebrate Recovery for almost the past 2 years. If you're like me, and you've never heard about this program before you're probably assuming that it's not something you need or could benefit from... but if you're breathing- it is!!!
You can click on the link above to learn more about it and you can even click HERE if you decide you'd like to check it out in person so you can call me a liar!
(Please do go and check it out sometime)
I will likely share more about it in the future, as it is one the reasons I've decided to start my blog back up again after a couple years...
So a few updates for those that know me, or care to learn more about me. Since the last time I blogged, we moved, bought our first home, got a second dog, I went back to work after being a stay ay home mama for 6 1/2 years. Then I got pregnant and didn't go back to work after maternity leave. I started and quit 3 more MLM/NWM adventures. I took on a leadership role in this special ministry. I have made some wonderful friends and of course now that I love where I am, the army is moving us again.
Oh yeah, did I mention after lots of prayer and research I decided to homeschool my 7th, 3rd and 1st graders this year! Shortly after, my husband and I decided that we could make some more big changes to better serve our family... a decision we made was to downsize from our 2,250 sq ft home and buying a 230sq ft travel trailer for tiny and intentional living. (yes you read that right, almost a 90% downsizing)
No more packing and unpacking every 2-3yrs, just hitch up our home and go to the next place. We're almost 10yrs into this crazy military life and my husband plans on doing the full 20 so we have at least 4-5moves ahead of us.
He's training right now, he's been gone for a month and won't be home for another month. My life as it is in this moment with 4 kids and 2 large dogs is a lot to manage on my own.
I don't know what I'd do without my church family... We will have to be at our new duty station just a couple weeks after he gets home so my days here are tik-tok counting down.
I've got to get our home ready to sell, pack and downsize and let go of all the things we've accumulated over the past few years and only hold on to the few essentials.
If you know me, I'm a Jane of all trades. I have a craft room full to the brims with supplies, tools, most new and some of my hidden purchases from when I was dealing with the depths of my depression binging on retail therapy...
(my declining mental health is a major reason why I had stopped blogging in the first place)
So I'm having to let it ALL go, breaking my emotional attachment to things, trying to homeschool 3 kids while a baby screams and the dogs fight and bark at the wind and keep my sanity. To say I feel overwhelmed is an understatement, but it's such a blessing to have this forever family that prays for us and shows up for us when we need it
Anyway, back to the journaling... tonight at CR we had a lesson on taking a daily inventory of our actions. To paraphrase the speaker said "If you don't keep record of how, when, where you spend your money, you're likely to wonder where it goes, the same is to be said of your time/energy/peace. If you don't keep record of what happened in your day, it's harder to realize why you think/feel/react the way you do."
And that really resonated with me.
On lesson nights we have a focus question for small groups, tonights question was about how a daily inventory can keep you from falling off the recovery wagon.
I shared that when I did keep my journal I was able to see the patterns and discover the triggers that kept popping up.
If there are things in your life that confuse you, write them down. Yes it makes it real, acknowledging that you don't have it all together on paper can seem like too much, but awareness is where the road to freedom begins.
If you're like me, you might be asking/telling yourself "I wouldn't even know where to start, what do I even write?"
"NO, none, everything, I prayed for someone, eventually, my kids, fear, not at all, direction."
These are my honest to goodness answers to these questions. I will likely not expand in a journal form tonight as its already past my bed time and I've got a sleeping baby
So with all that said, I hope I've inspired you to ask yourself some questions, to start or get back into journaling and taking care of yourself.
Journaling is a form of self care & self love. Don't let fear hold you back!!
I'll leave you with a quote I learned at Fearless Moms growth group this past spring-
"Guilt and shame (and fear) are like mold, they grow in the dark" it's time to get those thoughts and feelings out of your body, put them on paper (burn it after if you need to, or post anonymously online). But do keep a running gratitude list!!! Balance is imperative! There is bad but also good in every day.
My goal is to come back & write at least once a week. Looking forward to sharing this crazy, fun, emotional ride with you- if you know me- hold me accountable!!!!
