In my feelings...

The other day on my drive to work I heard a story on the radio that broke my heart. It was about a young girl who had a terminal disease and had only days left of life. Her wish was to marry her best friend one day and he agreed. Mind you they were both under 10, never the less the parents set up a ceremony and they got "married". The young girl died just a couple days later...

It pained my heart but as much as I wanted to sit there and shed a tear, I was running late so I rushed out from my car and buried it. Almost toward the end of my 4 hour shift a little boy approached me and asked if I worked there. He told me his mom was having a hard time finding her size so I followed him back to his mother who had her back towards me.

"Mommy I found someone to help you!" he said excitedly as she turned around. Half of her face, chest and her left arm were covered in burn marks... "Malachi don't bother the lady, I'm ok" she said embarrassed avoiding eye contact. I asked her what size she needed and offered my help but she declined- so I wrote her size down for Malachi and showed him how to look for it on the drawers. He is 6yrs old and had a younger brother with him no older than 3. As they were leaving he approached me again and said  "I'm sad we couldn't find her size but thank you for your help." The look of disappointment in his eyes, like he let his mom down- it burned right through me.

I couldn't help but wonder what happened to her. Did she run into a burning building to save her sons? Did an abusive husband burn her in an act of violence for trying to keep her boys safe? I'll never know, but what I do know is that Malachi looked at his mother like she was the most beautiful woman in the world and he loves her deeply.

Then I got home and watched some Grey's Anatomy and cried my eyes out... There is so much that I feel through out my day that I can't react to, that finally being able to feel and express it openly from under my covers is a much needed cathartic release. And then after all of that, I get to lay down in my comfy bed, in my house, next to my loving husband, with our healthy loving children sleeping upstairs and our loyal dogs laying close by protective of us all. Overwhelmed with gratitude, I back to waterworks until I eventually fall asleep...

I used to hate being so darn sensitive and emotional, but I feel so blessed to have the ability to emphasize, sympathize and feel so deeply. Just as the smallest things can bring so much pain, they can also bring so much joy! It's almost funny when my 5yr old sees me tearing up and asks me "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" and I have to explain happy tears.

It's ok to feel folks! You're entitled to having emotions- just don't stay stuck in a bad one... Night will fall, but the sun will always rise again. 🌞

Cloth Diapering: It isn't for everyone

As we get ready to move here, I've started digging through my "junk closet" and I've found many precious gems that I had left to be forgotten. I stumbled across my Cloth Diaper stash from Just Simply Baby and I started going down through memory lane.

As a teen mom, I didn't know what to expect with my first child. One thing I did do was count how many diapers per day/week/month my baby used and I saved all of my receipts. Total for 2.5yrs of full diapering and 3/4 of a year of pull ups my total investment on disposable diapers was $3,847.92 and it all ended  up in the garbage.

When I found out I was expecting baby #2 I could not figure out how I would find enough money to diaper! and that's when I ran across an add for cloth diapers. I used to think of CD's as something ugly and difficult and potentially dangerous (large pins and all) but when I  clicked through the website I was delighted to see how wrong I was. These diapers were cute, simple to use, eco friendly and would save me a ton! I ordered my first diaper kit for $100 which got me 10 diapers, a changing pad and a wet bag.

I found myself washing these diapers EVERY DAY and it was daunting because I couldn't be too far from home because I'd have to wash and dry them or be out! So then I spent another $250 and got an additional 25 diapers. Now we were talking! With a 35 diaper stash I only had to wash every 3rd day. Silly me though, baby #2 was a girl so I ordered everything pink and cute not thinking ahead... 5months later we were expecting baby #3 and low and behold it was a boy!

No one would be looking at what color his diapers were and baby #2 was a little older now so she didn't use as many diapers as she did in the beginning but now we were back to washing nearly every day. So I did what any reasonable person would do! I invested another $350 for 35 diapers and now we had 70 diapers! as they both grew a little more I found myself only having to wash diapers once weekly but I'd do it twice because it can get a bit stinky!

Soon baby #2 was out of diapers and baby #3 was rocking the cloth. I had a rotation I had worked out where I'd use a number of diapers for a week then change them entirely out for another set, so on and so forth. I even had a stash that was brand new and didn't get used because the other diapers were clean and ready to be used again.

Then when my husband deployed I kinda feel off the wagon. I started only using cloth at home but started purchasing disposables for when we were out. I eventually just quit on cloth. I probably spent about another $400 in disposable diapers until my son potty trained. So in total I spent a whooping $1100 for diapering 2 babies in comparison to what I originally spent on my first.

I must admit that cloth diapering is not for the faint of heart. It can be gross, it can smell really bad, you have to lug around bulky stuff. Once when we visited my mom in California from Virginia I had to use a whole luggage bag specifically just for diapers. Then you totally have to rely on having a washing machine and you need special treatment of your washing rituals because CD's must not come into contact with fabric softener or it's residue.

But if you are dedicated to being eco friendly, or have a child with sensitive skin, or are simply just broke and in need of desperate drastic measures- then this could be for you!

 I researched several companies while looking for a brand I could trust and the reason why I settled with JBS was because they had a wide variety of options with inserts, prints & styles. I found them to be the most cost effective PLUS they were the ONLY company who offered a 30 day return policy! Can you imagine dishing out $350 on cloth diapers only to find out you hate it and be stuck with your purchase or sell at a loss! How disappointing. Everyone else had the disclaimer that due to the nature of the items returns were not accepted. Hog Wash! And that's why we went with JBS. Plus the customer service is amazing, the owner Katie is such a dear. A little hand written note in every package a long with instructional pamphlets and packaged with love.

Wicked cool part? They have an affiliate program! You can earn 10% in store credit or 5% cash of any referral sales! What better way to fulfill your fluff addiction and make the world a better place?

Do you cloth diaper? Have you ever thought about it? Would you be interested in trying them out?



*Disclaimer: I'm part of their affiliate program. Purchases through the links may help contribute to the expenses of running this blog. Thanks.

What it means to be a Mom Pt.1

Sometime in December I convinced my husband that I needed another book.
You see I have a been building a collection for quite some time but I don't always quite read them, or if I start reading I don't always finish it.
I asked him to get me this-->1001 Things it Means to Be a Mom: (the Good, the Bad, and the Smelly)I hadn't opened it until recently and I'm hooked. I wasn't sure what to expect (because I hadn't read any reviews) but I was very interested in what it meant to someone else to be a mom.
As a stay at home mom it's quite simple to take this precious blessing for granted. Stepping on toys in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom, one interrupted shower after another due to ear piercing screams. The joys of cleaning permanent marker scribbles on the wall and removing bubble gum from hair.
Being a mom is not an easy task, some days it drains me, other days it irritates me... but every night when the lights are out and there's finally a little bit of peace I'm grateful for my tittle.

As I was reading along there were quite a few things that resonated with me and I wanted to share to see if maybe you can relate.

 7. Being a mom means getting mad that your husband doesn't get upset about the same things you do.

Let me tell ya, more often than not my husband see things very differently. Especially regarding the gender wars!!! His girls are perfect princesses and my little prince is a big cry baby in his eyes. I hold higher standards for my girls because I know how the world can be for a girl. Equally I cut my boy some slack because, well because he's adorable and his kisses and "I love you"s make it ever impossible to stay mad at him. So yeah, definitely it's true! Being a mom means a lot of explaining to your husband why you're upset.

16. Being a mom means being wiling to be disliked by your kids.

This one made me cry. My kids are only 2, 3 & 7 so I haven't got the verbal expression of this. I can be quite stern (my husband dubbed me "The Warden") and I know my kids don't like me very much when I enforce the rules. It reminds me of all the times my mother put her foot down and I stormed away. I was so upset that my friend and their moms were best friends but mine wasn't approachable... and I realize now that I had enough friends so I'm glad my mom stayed my mom- even when I told her I didn't like her.

29. Being a mom means taking a vacation away from the kids.

I'm on mom duty 24/7/365. The hours are long, the environment is chaotic, the breaks can be non existent and the stress levels can be quite overwhelming. Truth is I need a break every now and then. We can't afford to get away for the week while someone watches the kids like most families, so I live on mini vacations. A walk around Wal-Mart without someone demanding my attention can be quite relaxing.

42. Being a mom means cooking dinner while everyone else is watching T.V.

I have a love hate relationship with the T.V.! When my husband was deployed to Afghanistan last year, the T.V. was off most of the day. I didn't want to get distracted so we saved T.V. for bed time where we could all cuddle and enjoy the show. Now that daddy is home I can do more of what I need to do but I feel excluded from what was our family time. When I'm finally ready to settle in and get my show on I can't- keep tight for

51. Being a mom means keeping your relationship with your husband a priority.

Bed time is the only time my husband and I have to ourselves.  Even then on some nights little ones crawl into our bed and wedge between us. So that little time before we fall asleep I like to turn my attention to him. I hear a lot of women say their kids come first- but that logic is flawed. You had your husband before you had your kids & when your kids are long gone it's your husband who will remain. Your husband is the most important and precious connection. Your success partner, your better half, the spiritual leader- He needs you as much as the kids need him. Prioritize him!

79. Being a mom means being shocked at the PG-13 movie you're watching with your kids.

Oh my goodness! Even cartoons really shock and appall me! The innuendo and acceptance of crude language and behavior is quite scary. I don't remember the media being so bad back in my day- or maybe it was but I didn't catch on. If it's not a Disney, I'm in constant fear of the next scene.

100. Being a mom means worrying that you've become your mother.

There's days when I open my mouth and my mother comes out... I didn't get along very well with my mother and I worry that my kids will see me the way I saw her. I don't want to become my mother but now I understand the reasoning behind the rules and punishments...

Being a mom can be quite exhausting, while very fulfilling and all together quite scary. There are many others In the first 100 things that had me laughing or nodding to- but I just wanted to share a few with you. Stay tuned for parts 2- 10!

Jr (2)

Sam (3)

Me & Nevy (7)

Happy New Year - 2015 Goals

Hey there- so here we are. It's 2015 and THIS IS MY YEAR!

I know most of us say that every year lol but this is really my year.

I'm facing my fears and going out of my comfort zone.

Last year I said I wanted to start a Blog/Vlog (Video Blogging)

 and I did the blog part but Vlogging seemed way out of my comfort zone- 

this year I'm removing my self set limits.

Thank you for the love and support thus far & thank you in advance for the cheers to come.

It is my hope to adopt healthier habits and a stronger work ethic and perhaps inspire others along the way. :)

Sunday Funday Success

Life Update 8/2014

Family Blurb

We celebrated Samantha's birthday today at Chuck E Cheese's. 

She had a blast! She was not afraid of Chuck E. 

She took pictures, ate cake, played a few games & even earned herself some tickets. 

She even went in the ticket blaster with me!!!! 

Nevaeh did not (We also celebrated Nevaeh's 3rd birthday at CEC). 

She's a brave kid. I of course was falling apart having to deal with "throwing" yet another party without my better half. 

Deployments suck. 

Life is so much easier when Anthony is home. 

He gets to be the ball of nerves and I get to be the cool & calm one- 

in his absence I take over his role.

We had a few of our bible study friends join us, it is really nice to finally have mommy friends!

Nevaeh had 5 parties all on her lonesome. 

Aside from her 1st being a super giant family gig & a 3rd CEC party with a handful of MY friends- her other parties have just been me, daddy & sometimes grandma. 

It's kinda sad & I feel guilty that her little sister & little bother get to have parties when she didn't.
But alas, she finally had her day with friends (almost) for her 7th birthday.

On that note- Chuck E Cheese's parties are pretty expensive so for a small fraction of the cost we added little Anthony's birthday into the celebration. 

For one I don't feel comfortable with celebrating on halloween because I hate the mixed reactions I get from people when they find out when his birthday is... 

And on another count daddy should be coming back from Afghanistan sometime around then.

I don't want to fluster him with rushing plans. 

I just want to take some time to close the doors and barricade ourselves indoors to try and make up for lost time.

I know it's selfish, but he's been gone a painfully long time already and 

I don't want to have to share with with anyone I don't absolutely have to. 

It worked out because this way Jr got his little celebration in, pictures/memories are good to go & the little fella will never know the difference. 

New Beginnings

This week brings much excitement for me. 

I'm stepping out in faith & probably stretching myself quite thin, 

but this is something I feel like I need to do. 

I originally started my Dare to be Loved blog as a means to share a little bit Jesus into the inter webs but I feel very limited about the topics I can or should discuss. I can often go out on a tangent and have to delete half of my post because it's not on point.

So I have decided to open myself to give me a wide variety to share any and all the pieces of me. 

Now I can focus on my faith based thoughts and still share the other aspects of my passions with you here. 

Also, I've decided to follow through with my original desire to start my vlog.  (Video Blogging)

I'm not exactly sure how, when, or what I'm going to do with it.

It will probably also be a two part thing but expect to hear my voice and/or see my face on the inter webs soon, videos will be shared on this blog page more than likely :p

This Tuesday I begin a new chapter in my mommy life & 

Christian walk as one of the head coaches for Upward at Woodlawn Community Church. 

It's a non-competitive cheer program focused on elevating the spirits of girls & 

introducing Jesus into their lives. 

I was a cheerleader in High School and I've always looked back fondly at that experience. 

Being a part of a squad counting on each other to get the job done taught me great life skills so it's something I've hoped to pass on. 

Nevaeh has always been intimated by cheerleaders, because she's not a preppy girly girl. 

(She's a lot like mommy: loud, bossy, stubborn but shy & a bit cowardly all at once.)

This will definitely give her a boost of confidence & watching her grow as I help out my little squad of eight k-2nd grade girls will be very fulfilling. Just as VBS was<3 

(Thank YOU Emma for sharing these opportunities with me)

With all that said- a Sunday well spent brings a week of content. Have a Beautiful & Blessed week!!!

Daisy Reese- OUT.