Keep record of your day

Do you journal?

I'll be the first to admit that sometimes journaling feels like a chore, a bore, and at times it even feels torturesome. (Yes I'm aware that's not really a word)

However, every time I do journal for a continued period of time, I see the benefit of doing so.

I'm not going to list the benefits, because I'm sure you already know them, and if you don't, they're simple a google or Pinterest search away.

There are probably tons of blogs about it, and that's not really the point of why I'm writing this.

So, why am I bringing this up you might ask...

Well here it is: I have been attending something called CR or Celebrate Recovery for almost the past 2 years. If you're like me, and you've never heard about this program before you're probably assuming that it's not something you need or could benefit from... but if you're breathing- it is!!!

You can click on the link above to learn more about it and you can even click HERE if you decide you'd like to check it out in person so you can call me a liar! 

(Please do go and check it out sometime)

I will likely share more about it in the future, as it is one the reasons I've decided to start my blog back up again after a couple years... 

So a few updates for those that know me, or care to learn more about me. Since the last time I blogged, we moved, bought our first home, got a second dog, I went back to work after being a stay ay home mama for 6 1/2 years. Then I got pregnant and didn't go back to work after maternity leave. I started and quit 3 more MLM/NWM adventures. I took on a leadership role in this special ministry. I have made some wonderful friends and of course now that I love where I am, the army is moving us again. 

Oh yeah, did I mention after lots of prayer and research I decided to homeschool my 7th, 3rd and 1st graders this year! Shortly after, my husband and I decided that we could make some more big changes to better serve our family... a decision we made was to downsize from our 2,250 sq ft home and buying a 230sq ft travel trailer for tiny and intentional living. (yes you read that right, almost a 90% downsizing)

No more packing and unpacking every 2-3yrs, just hitch up our home and go to the next place. We're almost 10yrs into this crazy military life and my husband plans on doing the full 20 so we have at least 4-5moves ahead of us.

He's training right now, he's been gone for a month and won't be home for another month. My life  as it is in this moment with 4 kids and 2 large dogs is a lot to manage on my own. 

I don't know what I'd do without my church family... We will have to be at our new duty station just a couple weeks after he gets home so my days here are tik-tok counting down. 

I've got to get our home ready to sell, pack and downsize and let go of all the things we've accumulated over the past few years and only hold on to the few essentials.

If you know me, I'm a Jane of all trades. I have a craft room full to the brims with supplies, tools, most new and some of my hidden purchases from when I was dealing with the depths of my depression binging on retail therapy... 

(my declining mental health is a major reason why I had stopped blogging in the first place)

So I'm having to let it ALL go, breaking my emotional attachment to things, trying to homeschool 3 kids while a baby screams and the dogs fight and bark at the wind and keep my sanity. To say I feel overwhelmed is an understatement, but it's such a blessing to have this forever family that prays for us and shows up for us when we need it

Anyway, back to the journaling... tonight at CR we had a lesson on taking a daily inventory of our actions. To paraphrase the speaker said "If you don't keep record of how, when, where you spend your money, you're likely to wonder where it goes, the same is to be said of your time/energy/peace. If you don't keep record of what happened in your day, it's harder to realize why you think/feel/react the way you do." 

And that really resonated with me.

On lesson nights we have a focus question for small groups, tonights question was about how a daily inventory can keep you from falling off the recovery wagon.

I shared that when I did keep my journal I was able to see the patterns and discover the triggers that kept popping up. 

If there are things in your life that confuse you, write them down. Yes it makes it real, acknowledging that you don't have it all together on paper can seem like too much, but awareness is where the road to freedom begins.

If you're like me, you might be asking/telling yourself "I wouldn't even know where to start, what do I even write?" 

"NO, none, everything, I prayed for someone, eventually, my kids, fear, not at all, direction."
These are my honest to goodness answers to these questions. I will likely not expand in a journal form tonight as its already past my bed time and I've got a sleeping baby latched on to my breast asleep in my arms as I type. (Yes I'm crunchy, I do baby led weaning and we co-sleep)
So with all that said, I hope I've inspired you to ask yourself some questions, to start or get back into journaling and taking care of yourself.
Journaling is a form of self care & self love. Don't let fear hold you back!!

I'll leave you with a quote I learned at Fearless Moms growth group this past spring-
"Guilt and shame (and fear) are like mold, they grow in the dark" it's time to get those thoughts and feelings out of your body, put them on paper (burn it after if you need to, or post anonymously online). But do keep a running gratitude list!!! Balance is imperative! There is bad but also good in every day.

My goal is to come back & write at least once a week. Looking forward to sharing this crazy, fun, emotional ride with you- if you know me- hold me accountable!!!!

Mental & Emotional tracking

Hello again!

So I was going though Pinterest looking for stuff- printables, layout ideas, stickers, trackers etc and I came across this:

and it blew my mind!

Since Winter of 2013 I have been struggling with anxiety and depression.
Every time I went to my doctors office for a follow up I was asked to evaluate my past 2 weeks and average out how I had been feeling.
People! I couldn't even recall how I got out of bed that morning or if I had had breakfast but I was supposed to produce analysis on my mental & emotional status on demand?

I'm not sure how accurately I answered. My "numbers" were improving according to my doctor's interpretations of my answers even though I felt like I was devolving and spiraling deeper into darkness... I was prescribed the wrong medication for me and I took it for nearly a year.

I desperately wanted a way to show them, diagram my emotions, make a pie chart of some sort to visually explain the torturous turmoil inside me... but I didn't know how or what to do to help myself.

Winter of 14 I discovered this whole "BuJo" idea, and found support to start my journey in a Facebook group.
It was there that I discovered ways to use my personal bullet journal for more than just productivity. Thanks to this method I was able to better explain myself to my doctors and I was put on a different prescription and it made such a HUGE difference towards my progress towards feeling like myself again. 

I've made monthly mood trackers before which are fun and nice to see but to be able to see the whole year... that's just incredible. I wanted to make sure that if anyone else who saw it- liked it- then they too could start doing it right away so I made a PDF form of it but with more defined "moods" or feelings that I personally roller coaster through. You can go ahead and: right click- save image as to your computer and print it off!

.::Click here to download::.

We found the one

So this past week my husband and I went on a road trip to look at houses.
We searched in Virginia and Maryland since he will be working near DC we have more options.
We had a list of non-negotiable needs and a wish list of wants which included:

Needs: 
3+ bedrooms (it has 4)
1.5 bathrooms (it has 3 full bathrooms)
Not a corner lot (2nd house from corner)
Not on a main road (2 blocks in 45sec drive to main road)
Gated back yard for dog (1 acre fully fenced in plus built in kennel)
Garage (drive through garage for 2)
Wants:
Basement (its finished and lovely)
Deck (needs refinishing but has a big one)
Porch (does not have one in front but has a screen covered one in rear leading to deck)
Spacious kitchen & cabinets (nice color, stainless steel appliances and roomy enough)
A fireplace (no but has a wood burning stove)
Walk in pantry (bust: tiny closet)
Tub in the master bathroom (bust: crowded room with a stand up shower)

BONUS:
It has a pool & diving board.

All in all I think we made out great. We're super excited about this new stage in our lives.
We went over our initial budget but we were pre-approved for our loan.
Now we just wait and pray that it passes inspection, that it appraises fairly with the agreed upon prize and that the loan gets approved!
We're pushing for a closing date of March 31st and if all goes well, we'll be packing up and driving out April 1st.
Hubby is due to begin work on April 10th so it gives us a little over a week to get settled in.

The house is in great condition, of course I want to add splashes of color to the rooms and see if I can DIY some magic in to make it personal. We're so used to not being able to many any adjustments with rentals, I can barely sit still as I think of all the possibilities.

All you prayer warriors out there, please lift up our process for approval.
Now to Pinterest ways of meeting the neighbors! Any tips?

Cloth Diapering: It isn't for everyone

As we get ready to move here, I've started digging through my "junk closet" and I've found many precious gems that I had left to be forgotten. I stumbled across my Cloth Diaper stash from Just Simply Baby and I started going down through memory lane.

As a teen mom, I didn't know what to expect with my first child. One thing I did do was count how many diapers per day/week/month my baby used and I saved all of my receipts. Total for 2.5yrs of full diapering and 3/4 of a year of pull ups my total investment on disposable diapers was $3,847.92 and it all ended  up in the garbage.

When I found out I was expecting baby #2 I could not figure out how I would find enough money to diaper! and that's when I ran across an add for cloth diapers. I used to think of CD's as something ugly and difficult and potentially dangerous (large pins and all) but when I  clicked through the website I was delighted to see how wrong I was. These diapers were cute, simple to use, eco friendly and would save me a ton! I ordered my first diaper kit for $100 which got me 10 diapers, a changing pad and a wet bag.

I found myself washing these diapers EVERY DAY and it was daunting because I couldn't be too far from home because I'd have to wash and dry them or be out! So then I spent another $250 and got an additional 25 diapers. Now we were talking! With a 35 diaper stash I only had to wash every 3rd day. Silly me though, baby #2 was a girl so I ordered everything pink and cute not thinking ahead... 5months later we were expecting baby #3 and low and behold it was a boy!

No one would be looking at what color his diapers were and baby #2 was a little older now so she didn't use as many diapers as she did in the beginning but now we were back to washing nearly every day. So I did what any reasonable person would do! I invested another $350 for 35 diapers and now we had 70 diapers! as they both grew a little more I found myself only having to wash diapers once weekly but I'd do it twice because it can get a bit stinky!

Soon baby #2 was out of diapers and baby #3 was rocking the cloth. I had a rotation I had worked out where I'd use a number of diapers for a week then change them entirely out for another set, so on and so forth. I even had a stash that was brand new and didn't get used because the other diapers were clean and ready to be used again.

Then when my husband deployed I kinda feel off the wagon. I started only using cloth at home but started purchasing disposables for when we were out. I eventually just quit on cloth. I probably spent about another $400 in disposable diapers until my son potty trained. So in total I spent a whooping $1100 for diapering 2 babies in comparison to what I originally spent on my first.

I must admit that cloth diapering is not for the faint of heart. It can be gross, it can smell really bad, you have to lug around bulky stuff. Once when we visited my mom in California from Virginia I had to use a whole luggage bag specifically just for diapers. Then you totally have to rely on having a washing machine and you need special treatment of your washing rituals because CD's must not come into contact with fabric softener or it's residue.

But if you are dedicated to being eco friendly, or have a child with sensitive skin, or are simply just broke and in need of desperate drastic measures- then this could be for you!

 I researched several companies while looking for a brand I could trust and the reason why I settled with JBS was because they had a wide variety of options with inserts, prints & styles. I found them to be the most cost effective PLUS they were the ONLY company who offered a 30 day return policy! Can you imagine dishing out $350 on cloth diapers only to find out you hate it and be stuck with your purchase or sell at a loss! How disappointing. Everyone else had the disclaimer that due to the nature of the items returns were not accepted. Hog Wash! And that's why we went with JBS. Plus the customer service is amazing, the owner Katie is such a dear. A little hand written note in every package a long with instructional pamphlets and packaged with love.

Wicked cool part? They have an affiliate program! You can earn 10% in store credit or 5% cash of any referral sales! What better way to fulfill your fluff addiction and make the world a better place?

Do you cloth diaper? Have you ever thought about it? Would you be interested in trying them out?



*Disclaimer: I'm part of their affiliate program. Purchases through the links may help contribute to the expenses of running this blog. Thanks.

Clutter Free 2016

My husband and I recently started the process of buying our first home.
We will be moving from our current station in Fort Campbell, KY to Fort Myer, VA and with every move comes the horrible duty of packing.

 "Well Daisy, being in a military family, you should be used to frequent moves" You might say... and while yes, I know it comes with the territory I also have what you could call a bit of a hoarding issue  sentimental attachment to things and a crafty heart who wants to repurpose everything.

So my husband and I have this on-going battle about what will and won't go into our new home. He's a minimalist,and well I guess you could call me a maximist! lol

Any how I've recently gotten myself wrapped up in this system called Bullet Journaling and it's all about simplicity and order. I've been following a couple people who have inspired me and I've seen  some of the tools they use to track and maintain their activities and goals.

So I searched the web and I found a handy little thing on decluttering as many items as the current year. The one I found was for a different year (sorry I don't remember where I found it) and I made a similar chart to use in 2016 that Is helping me stay accountable and excited to see the progress. So i figured I could share it in case anyone else would find it useful. You can download it HERE

Anyhow the idea is to cross out a square each time you've gotten rid of an item. It seems like a lot, and I have A LOT! I've already gotten rid of 31 items and I have't even made a small dent in how much stuff I've "collected". You can get rid of a pair of shoes and mark it as 1 box or 2 (1 box per shoe) it's up to you.

Throw it away, sell it, donate it- whatever. As hard as it is to let go of my things, my husbands sanity & happiness is worth more. Besides, when I die I can't take of it with me and I fear they'd throw all my precious things out or worse- keep them! lol Anyhow, I hope you find this tool  useful- if you do, would you please let me know?

Be The Match

I met a very sweet lady in September 2012 named Jen. She was a budding photographer I met off bookoo.com Us living on a single income could never afford professional pictures so we were over the moon when she generously offered to do our family/couples/maternity session for next to nothing.  I was so very grateful.
 She became our go to for portraits, she also did birthday pictures for my girls, new born pictures when little man was born and a Boudoir session for valentines.
 I was quite devastated when I found out she had been diagnosed with cancer (leukemia to be exact).

I saw her health steadily decline. She was already quite petite and she slowly was disappearing losing  tons of weight & hair during rounds of chemo that weren't very successful.
She was slowly running out of options and only a bone marrow transplant would add time to her life.   She bravely asked her circle  to consider signing up to be a donor at  BeTheMatch.Org It's an organization that helps connect willing bone marrow donors with those in need of transplants.
I contacted them right away for a donor kit. You simply have to swab the inside of your cheek to send as a tissue sample (very simple & painless).
  I was not a match for her but thank God early in 2014 they found a match for her and she's doing a lot better now.

Recently I received an email from them letting me know I was a match for an 18yr old boy.
While I'm nervous about the procedure, I'm also quite excited to possibly help save a life.
I've just started the process for further testing to see if I am the best possible match for him. 

God works in mysterious ways, while I've been spending all this time throwing a pity party for myself, not knowing what purpose I serve, feeling useless etc. Now I feel blessed to have this opportunity of LITERALLY make a difference in someone's life. (Especially the life of someone so young...) It hits home to me as a mother, what if that was my son? I can only imagine the look of relief on that mother's face knowing that there is hope for her child!

So that is why I thought I'd share some light on this organization today.
If you too would like to make a difference consider joining the donor registry.

Check them out on Facebook 

Just Eat it!

Eat that frog By:Brian Tracy

My takeaway from reading the book.

There are 3 D's that will get you through life successfully:

• Decision
• Discipline
• Determination

Success begins with the simple thought of to. YOU have to DECIDE to succeed. 

Once you've made your decision you HAVE to be DISCIPLINED! Which means you 

will continue following through with your decision even if you no longer feel like it.

Lastly, you MUST stay DETERMINED to see yourself to the completion of your achievement.

Your next through will determine your future. Life is shaped by your daily choices, t's the smallest actions that have the biggest effect. Every small habit and repetitive action will build on itself to progress you or hold you back.  

If you have to eat 2 frogs; eat the ugliest first .If you have to workout & go grocery shopping and you hate both do the one you hate the most. For me that's working out! I don't hate it per say but if I don't do it early before my day gets started then chances are I'll just completely skip it. I HAVE to grocery shop or I won't eat & I love to eat! lol so that sets the order of events.

If you have to eat a live frog, don't look at it very long so:

1. Be selective
2. Prioritize 
3. Take immediate action
4. Develop a positive addiction to starting and finishing your tasks
5. Don't cheat yourself by taking shortcuts 

Let's get busy! I know I've been slacking but hey! I'm only human ;-P

Reflections on 2015

As this year comes to an end, I am grateful to have survived the whirlwind.
I ended 2014 on a very high note and set really high expectations for this year but I didn't build a sturdy foundation.
So as I took a big leap of excitement, I was met by a mighty downfall into helplessness.
This year resurfaced a lot of forgotten scars, and depression took hold of me.
I basically fell off the face of the Earth and the world went on.
I had been so ashamed and afraid to ask for help that I fell into a very dark and lonely place.

Thankfully my God is bigger than my demons and his grace is sweeter than my bitter pain.
A dear friend of mine shared with me that she too was struggling with some issues and encouraged me to talk to my primary care physician.

I started taking prescription drugs for depression and anxiety and put on about 50 lbs.

It was trial an error for a bit, I spent about 8 months just barely gasping for air.
More recently my prescription switched and I'm starting to feel a little more like myself again.
I'm still struggling with my weight but I'm working towards self acceptance and loving improvement.

On a more positive note, I ran for the PTO at my daughter's school and joined the board as the Fundraising coordinator.
I was head cheer coach for my church's Upward sports program and I started singing with the worship team.

I fell truly madly deeply involve with Doctor Who & I made the bestest friend I could ever ask for.

I chopped all my hair off #StressLevel:Britney lol, and I often have the most deep and intricate world changing conversations inside my head and I always forget to write things out.
I have the most eloquent and passionate debates with myself about hot topics but I bite my tongue in public because I'm afraid I won't be heard and my thoughts won't matter.
 On the bright side my brain is so overstimulated I have the most heart racing dreams!
Anyhow, I seem to have waged a war against Facebook and the news.
I'm depressed enough- aint no body got time for that!
 Well, if you have time for Facebook- you probably don't have time for anything else.

Anyway, one of my new years resolutions was to get closer to my ma... I love the woman more than I care to admit but for the life of me I can't seem to show it.
I remember yelling at her in 5th grade that she was gonna be the reason I would grow up to be medicated and spend all my money on a psychiatrist and here we are.
Everyday I wage a battle between making my mom a part of my life while trying my hardest to be the exact opposite of her and be a better parent to my kids.
I'm so afraid that my munchkins will grow up and feel about me the way I feel about her.
I will have to continue working on that.

So over all I feel like I failed at life this year, but I learned that it's OK to fail!
No body is perfect, everyone is unique and special in their own way. I'm special, I'm delicate, I'm fragile, I'm sensitive and I love myself as I am.
I'm not yet where I want to be but I've come a long way.

Things I did this year to improve myself:

Meditation

Accupuncture

EFT

Self Discovery/Enlightenment

Journaling

Getting out of the house

So there you have it. I usually challenge you to dare to be loved- this year I rose to the challenge.

I love and I am loved! You are too!

May the next year bring you peace and serenity!

Hello again, remember me?

Dear God,

It's me again. I've been stumbling behind you with my eyes closed and I got really off track. The further I got away from you, the more I realized how much I need you and how much you love me.
Even when I wasn't walking with you,  you continued to watch my steps & bless me through others when I needed it most.

Like the time when I was running late to pick up my oldest from school and I was at Hobby Lobby 14miles from her school with 2 cranky toddlers. My youngest grabbed one of those overpriced candies near the check out, (who actually pay for a $7 piece of plastic containing 50 little pieces of sugar? {they looked like nerds}) and when I tried to take it to put it back the thing snapped in half sending all the little pieces flying and scattering all over the floor. I quickly got on my knees frantically trying to pick up these pieces while apologizing for the mess. My face was burning, my hands were trembling and there was a giant knot in my throat. I finally picked up the pieces, got up to pay for that 1 item I needed and realized that they cashier had charged me for the candy she had just instructed me to put in the trash. $7! It may not seem like a big deal but we were down to our last pennies before pay day and I was having a really rough week. I picked up my oldest from school LATE & our fridge was nearly empty so I figured we could get something cheap off the dollar menu plus I had a coupon to BOGO burger. So we orders the BOGO burgers, 10 nuggets, 1 large drink & a large fry totaling $11.56 (I had $12 in my wallet). My kiddos was screaming that they wanted their own drinks and I assured them we would be sharing fairly. We took a seat and minutes later one of the employees walked up to our table with our order PLUS an extra side of fries and 3 children cups and gave us a big smile. As we were walking out my kiddos started asking me when we would get a kids meal so they could get a toy, I shrugged "maybe next time" before we walked out the employee from earlier ran up to us with 3 toys and quickly walked into a back room. I asked the cashier for a name- she told me it was the store manager. I was in tears the whole drive home.

And the the time I really needed a couple items from the grocery store and my card wasn't working, the cashier told me to try the ATM but it was out of order. I stood there frozen not knowing what to think, I asked the cashier to cancel me out while I figured something out because I didn't want to hold up the line. Before she did that, the gentleman standing in line behind me (with a single energy drink) said that he would cover it & slipped his card before I could react to his kindness.

Or the time I was volunteering to help a local sports program but I didn't have enough funds to enroll my kiddo in the program. (She was really looking forward to it). On the first day of the program, I had my kiddo with me to "assist" while the other kids checked in and got their jerseys. Right before we started with the days practice, the program director walked up to my kiddo and told her she had a jersey to pick up then winked at me. She had noticed I was on the volunteer list but my kiddo wasn't  registered, (They knew us from the previous season)  she knew I would bring her with me & she didn't want my kiddo to be left out so she paid the enrollment fee for us.

Just these 3 things made my heart overflow with gratitude, I know it was you looking out for me & the family. Providing for us through others and showing us love through the warm smiles and gentle touch. Thank you for being there for me, even when I'm not there for you.

Sincerely - your prodigal daughter

You can't fail unless you quit!

Rebirth: Reese's Pieces

Some time in 2013 I decided I wanted to try my hand at photography.

 Back in 2011 after I gave birth to my 2nd daughter, I saw so many cute clothes & bedding. I wanted to buy her everything but  I didn't have the money. So instead I bought a sewing machine and I decided I'd make her those cute things myself. 

I named my sewing business Cuties By: D-Zign. I couldn't just be a stay at home mom with a hobby, I was determined to work for my coffee habit, so I decided I would sell my work. I came up with the name "Cuties" because  have 3 cuties of my own, "D-Zign" because I Daisy (AKA DayZ) was "De-Ziging" my little creations. 

Fast forward to 2013, I was trying to sell my things on Etsy but I felt like I just couldn't compare to the great sellers on there. Their listings had great photos and they looked so well presented. My little phone took the grainiest pictures ever so I convinced my husband I needed a DSLR & we invested in a Canon Rebel T3 .  

From the moment I opened my camera and took my first picture  (without a lens) I was in love. I had absolutely NO IDEA what the heck I was doing or how to work it but within me I just felt like I was born for it. I was so excited about my brand new camera that I announced myself as a photographer while shooting in full auto in my kit lens. 

I had no editing software outside of BeFunky  and looking back... damn I was a mess. Good thing I didn't charge for those sessions.

Anyhow, I tried to bring my business name over to my photography but it was too long. So I went with "CBDZ Photography" and I have hated it since. 

Last year while my husband was deployed, I  decided to upgraded a   to a Canon EOS 70D not because I had fully mastered my camera but because I wanted to force myself out of the automatic settings into more of a manual side. I am totally love with my new camera & I'm still learning to master it. 

My husband also got me the Adobe Photoshop & Premiere Elements  software so I could edit more "professionally". I love it because it comes with photo AND video editing software ! I enjoy making home videos and stuff so it's perfect for me! It certainly helped my stand out and improve my work.

This year for Valentines He blessed me with an Apple MacBook Pro and Wacom Small Tablet editing!He really surprises me with his thoughtfulness and loving heart. I cannot stress how blessed I am to have such a supporting husband  who believes in my potential.

I have been taking some time off business to redefine my brand and identity. I've changed my name to Reese's Pieces Photography & settled on my color palette. I have been playing with my new tools to give new life to my old work.

and I've gotta say I can really see improvement and I'm going to toot my own horn here! TOOT TOOT! I am so exited about personal growth in this area of skill. I'm not yet where I want to be, but I'm so far off from where I started. There were so many times that I felt like I was going nowhere but I'm glad I didn't quit! No way I'm giving up on something I love this much. So "Note to Self:

What it means to be a Mom Pt.1

Sometime in December I convinced my husband that I needed another book.
You see I have a been building a collection for quite some time but I don't always quite read them, or if I start reading I don't always finish it.
I asked him to get me this-->1001 Things it Means to Be a Mom: (the Good, the Bad, and the Smelly)I hadn't opened it until recently and I'm hooked. I wasn't sure what to expect (because I hadn't read any reviews) but I was very interested in what it meant to someone else to be a mom.
As a stay at home mom it's quite simple to take this precious blessing for granted. Stepping on toys in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom, one interrupted shower after another due to ear piercing screams. The joys of cleaning permanent marker scribbles on the wall and removing bubble gum from hair.
Being a mom is not an easy task, some days it drains me, other days it irritates me... but every night when the lights are out and there's finally a little bit of peace I'm grateful for my tittle.

As I was reading along there were quite a few things that resonated with me and I wanted to share to see if maybe you can relate.

 7. Being a mom means getting mad that your husband doesn't get upset about the same things you do.

Let me tell ya, more often than not my husband see things very differently. Especially regarding the gender wars!!! His girls are perfect princesses and my little prince is a big cry baby in his eyes. I hold higher standards for my girls because I know how the world can be for a girl. Equally I cut my boy some slack because, well because he's adorable and his kisses and "I love you"s make it ever impossible to stay mad at him. So yeah, definitely it's true! Being a mom means a lot of explaining to your husband why you're upset.

16. Being a mom means being wiling to be disliked by your kids.

This one made me cry. My kids are only 2, 3 & 7 so I haven't got the verbal expression of this. I can be quite stern (my husband dubbed me "The Warden") and I know my kids don't like me very much when I enforce the rules. It reminds me of all the times my mother put her foot down and I stormed away. I was so upset that my friend and their moms were best friends but mine wasn't approachable... and I realize now that I had enough friends so I'm glad my mom stayed my mom- even when I told her I didn't like her.

29. Being a mom means taking a vacation away from the kids.

I'm on mom duty 24/7/365. The hours are long, the environment is chaotic, the breaks can be non existent and the stress levels can be quite overwhelming. Truth is I need a break every now and then. We can't afford to get away for the week while someone watches the kids like most families, so I live on mini vacations. A walk around Wal-Mart without someone demanding my attention can be quite relaxing.

42. Being a mom means cooking dinner while everyone else is watching T.V.

I have a love hate relationship with the T.V.! When my husband was deployed to Afghanistan last year, the T.V. was off most of the day. I didn't want to get distracted so we saved T.V. for bed time where we could all cuddle and enjoy the show. Now that daddy is home I can do more of what I need to do but I feel excluded from what was our family time. When I'm finally ready to settle in and get my show on I can't- keep tight for

51. Being a mom means keeping your relationship with your husband a priority.

Bed time is the only time my husband and I have to ourselves.  Even then on some nights little ones crawl into our bed and wedge between us. So that little time before we fall asleep I like to turn my attention to him. I hear a lot of women say their kids come first- but that logic is flawed. You had your husband before you had your kids & when your kids are long gone it's your husband who will remain. Your husband is the most important and precious connection. Your success partner, your better half, the spiritual leader- He needs you as much as the kids need him. Prioritize him!

79. Being a mom means being shocked at the PG-13 movie you're watching with your kids.

Oh my goodness! Even cartoons really shock and appall me! The innuendo and acceptance of crude language and behavior is quite scary. I don't remember the media being so bad back in my day- or maybe it was but I didn't catch on. If it's not a Disney, I'm in constant fear of the next scene.

100. Being a mom means worrying that you've become your mother.

There's days when I open my mouth and my mother comes out... I didn't get along very well with my mother and I worry that my kids will see me the way I saw her. I don't want to become my mother but now I understand the reasoning behind the rules and punishments...

Being a mom can be quite exhausting, while very fulfilling and all together quite scary. There are many others In the first 100 things that had me laughing or nodding to- but I just wanted to share a few with you. Stay tuned for parts 2- 10!

Jr (2)

Sam (3)

Me & Nevy (7)

Condemnation Interferes with Intimacy

I know this is a pretty long video, but if you can spare an hour watch it.



Condemnation interferes with intimacy. 

When there is guilt you don't make room for a trusting loving relationship.

When you feel like you have to make up for something, you're busy working instead of building.

Slow your role!!! Get your relationships in order and work together.



God wants to know you. We know who God is, He knows who you are, but are you spending enough time with Him to confidently say you have a strong connection?

Would you consider it a loving relationship? Would you say you're friends, engaged, or married with God?

Are you wrapped up in ministries trying to win souls and feel like you're hitting a wall?

Or are you getting intimate with God, birthing souls and moving your ministries forward?

There IS a difference!!!

I share this with you because it really tugged at my heart.
It is time we dare to be loved but also dare to get intimate with God.
Intimacy is beautiful & some people are scared of it because it puts you in a vulnerable position... Lucky for us we know that God has been, is and always will be the same.

Put your trust in Him, delight in Him, praise Him, offer your body, heart & life to Him.

Then and only then will the desires of your heart align with His will for your life and it will be added to you.



So take a moment and reflect-
What are YOU doing RIGHT NOW?
What are you working towards? What are the reasons behind your works?
Are you feeling condemned or intimate with God?



This is not in any way to judge you or put you down- but more so to raise a personal awareness.
In humility I urge us all to do a heart check for our benefits.
It is my hope and prayer that we all reach the level of love and intimacy with God that we want and need.

We are Family

So we've been having a series in church about family life and today was the last and final part focusing on parenting. It really hit home for me & I feel like I have to share it with you.

(Listen to the podcast here)

Parenting: It's not about controlling their behavior, 

it's about capturing their hearts

     Parenting is tough, and we make mistakes. We have messed up and we will continue to mess up. We're not perfect, and thats ok. Don't bee too proud to let your children know: "Mommy &/or Daddy isn't perfect and I'm sorry, but thats why you have Jesus. He can heal you and your heart if I hurt it or if I can't help you heal it. I don't have all the answers but he can help me love you better if you pray for me, just like I pray for you."

Surround yourself with Godly parenting examples, glean from them. Observe & listen. Our parenting requires 4 stages: Discipline, Training, Coaching and Friendship. First things first- if you're a single parent sit down and make a list of the things you want to to teach your kids and the things you will absolutely not stand for. If you're married, make sure you both agree and that you back each other up instilling and drilling in these core values. The example used where the non tolerable Dx3- Disobedience, Dishonesty & Disrespect.

Starting with Discipline (Ages 1-5) You must TEACH your children that there are consequences for their actions- GOOD and BAD. ***Be extremely careful when it comes to physical discipline. In the heat of the moment discipline is just a hairline away from abuse. Don't cross that line, don't lose your child, this is considered disrespect and it causes distrust. 

It doesn't matter how you do it but do it- discipline diligently, consistently and calmly.  Remind yourself that "the days are long, but the years are short." They grow up so fast and before you know it they are out in the world and the biggest thing they take with them is the memories you shared and the things you instilled in them. Discipline them in their mistakes and PRAISE them in their efforts, accomplishments and successes. It is equally important that you purposely catch them doing right. Shed light on their positive actions, it's both empowering and encouraging to them.

Training (Ages 6-11) This is reinforcing the foundations, it includes discipline but it's a different type of discipline. In their early stages you teach them to do things your way, in this stage they start thinking and making their own way. Tell them daily "God has a plan for you and you do not want to miss it!" Drill your love into your children by continuously encouraging them and reminding them they are loved. Help them make the right decisions but don't make decisions for them. Let them fail, don't bail them out. This will teach them that things go wrong, and it will encourage them to seek your guidance. The stakes are low at this age,  resiliency is a great thing to learn early. Ask them: "What do you think Jesus would do?"  allow them to think and come to conclusions. I think the reason why "Common sense" isn't so common these days is because people tried too hard to control the actions of their children without making them think about it. Once they were old enough to break free of the control they had no incentive to think deeper.

Coaching (Ages 12-18) Give wise council. It's important that you teach them early on to show respect to you, their siblings and themselves. Cultivate speaking life. Daily tell them something positive about them, something you love. You must tell them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. You are the parent not the friend! They have plenty of friends in school! Do NOT fear that they will stop liking you- they probably will and that's OK, because later they will and later is longer that right now. A quick way to know how you're doing in your parenting: stop and listen to the way they talk to their dolls, their siblings & their friends. They're little mirrors! You will hear  yourself come out of their mouth often, so give them something positive, kind and wise to repeat! When they're in the wrong, don't get mad, get grieved. Draw near to their disobedience & remind them that there is a better way.

Build them up daily- you are their advocate! It is not your job to control their actions, it's your job to capture their hearts by showing them love and appreciation- because mom/dad, if you don't do it they will go out and seek it from somebody else. Capture their hearts with YOUR LOVE and lead them closer to Christ.

Friendship (Ages 18-#) From early youth do your part to intercept faith with decision making. God is real, he's not just a fictional character in an old book. Bed time stories? Read a chapter of the bible daily. Scary, personal, difficult questions? Do not be afraid to be transparent: "I did things wrong but God has a better way for you" Allow them to learn from you so they don't have to search for the answers in the world. Openly speak about relationships. "Purity paves the way. " "There's no shame in waiting!" "Don't act like you're married when you're not" "Always make your intentions known" "Foreplay is not end play" SEX IS NOT FOR GROWN PEOPLE, IT'S NOT FOR INLOVE PEOPLE, IT'S FOR MARRIED PEOPLE.  Keep it that way and avoid the void in your soul and the pain in your heart. 

If you lay your foundations right and capture their hearts you will have made a friend for life. Your children will seek your advice, will look to you for comfort and will take heed in your words.

Stay blessed. Love your children & remember: Dare to be loved! <3

A song can say so much

There's some songs that just take the words out of your mouth. This one really hit home for me at a time when I was starting to get comfortable with God. Sometimes we fall into a comfortable complacency and we stop trying to influence the world & give way for the world  to influence us. "Oh I'm saved, I've been good, I can get away with a little bit of this & that" Before you know it, you stop reading your bible. The Bible will keep you away from sin & sin will keep you from the Bible. Why? Because you don't want to read and feel condemned- If the shoe fits wear it. If you don't want to wear it CHANGE THE SHOE! Stop sinning and you will no longer have anything to feel guilty about.

This song is a prayer that we should say if e ever feel like we are falling asleep on our faith. 

These are the lyrics, personalized into a prayer form.

Remember that there is no perfect way to pray. Just talk to Him.

Tell him what you think and how you feel. If there's something that you need,

Believe that he will grant it, because according to your faith it shall be added unto you.

Dare to say this prayer today!

LORD AWAKEN ME! because sometimes I feel like I'm just existing but I'm not really living. It's like I'm only watching time slip away.

Sometimes I forget who I am in you & I stop striving to be who I'm meant to be. 

I feel like I'm drifting away from my destiny.
I pray that you Awaken my heart & my soul. Lord, please use your power and take control. 

Awaken the passion to live for you, and Awaken me.
My soul is longing & my heart is searching. There's an emptiness that I know only you can fill. I'm desperate for you to move. Please give me a hunger to come and pull me closer. 

I'm crying out to you. Open my eyes so I can see your presence dwelling inside, because I can't live another minute if I'm not shining your light. Awaken the passion within in me to live out my destiny and shine your light through me.










LYRICS

Fellowship Found Friendship

We watched God's Not Dead at Bible study today.

I really enjoyed it! What a powerful reminder that there even during the times when God calls us to do something we are afraid to do, we must rest assured He can use it to touch many lives.

And also that we might be the only Jesus someone may see.

My prayer is that I may be bold to step out in faith to follow his command without hesitation.

I can be pretty outspoken at times, but self doubt has held me back. Note to self: don't be self reliant or try to be self sufficient- let go & let God.

On a different note, every morning before school we are watching "The Bible" series on NetFlixs, it's pretty cool to hear my 7yr old tell me "I know that guy, I learned/read about him." This past Sunday they gave out notebooks to every child in Champions church, she is to read a chapter every day & write down her favorite scripture. I find it quite beautiful to add this as a habit to her daily lifestyle.

There's people who struggle with reading the word of God, mostly laziness or lack or priority. 
Myself included. When the year started we took on the challenge to read the Bible's in a year. 
66 books in 52 weeks. The daily reading took anywhere form 10-15 minutes, nothing crazy.  
We spend the same amount of time or longer on Facebook & checking our emails. 
I'm sad to report that WE ALL FAILED OUT of the challenge.

Once you missed a day or two, it became tedious to catch up draining on you- but not impossible.  As ashamed as I am to admit it, I stopped trying. Ashamed because I know that when things are important you make time for it, otherwise you make an excuse. 
What does the Bible say about reading God's word?

2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV 

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

Matthew 4:4 ESV 

But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Joshua 1:8 ESV 

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

1 Timothy 4:13 ESV 

Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching.

1 Peter 2:2 ESV

Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—

Proverbs 4:20 ESV 

My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.

It should never feel like a burden to read his word. When you love someone, you WANT to spend time with them.   So if we love Jesus- why is it hard for us to spend some time  with him reading his word? You would't settle with telling your husband "I love you" once a day or once a week or  think it  would be sufficient, right?

Picture this. You go on vacation and you ask your neighbor to check on your mail.  He saw you had a "FINAL NOTICE"  from the library. You owed $8.75 for overdue book & they were sending you to collections and your neighbor decides to pay it for you. When you find out, you would feel thankful. It wasn't a lot of money but at least it won't go on your record affecting your credit score. Maybe  you will take him out for coffee. 

Different scenario, the "FINAL NOTICE" was from your car loan. You've missed 3 payments and owe $1,500. They are reporting you to a debt collector & repossessing your car. Your neighbor pays for it and you had no way to pay him back. You're incredibly grateful. You praise them, run their errands, and help them in every way you can, etc. You owe them big time after all. 

Jesus is your neighbor, this time the "FINAL NOTICE"  is from hell.  You owe your life due to the sin you've allowed into your life & He pays your debt with his own life. 
You can't EVER pay it back. So couldn't we in the least read a few chapters a day with him??? 

I have been ungrateful for His sacrifice. I want to learn his commands, meditate on his word day & night. I want to be nourished by His word DAILY. I may be on a "diet"  to change my body, but as far as my spirit is concerned, I think it's definitely time for a double portion.

Feed your Faith. Dare to be Loved.

  I'm truly blessed that God has put these ladies in my life. We're 6 months into deployment and I know I'm not alone. These ladies are beautiful inside & out. A warm smile, a positive message, a sweet gesture. Exactly what I need at the precise moment I need it. I wanted to fellowship to find friendship and I walked away with family <3

You should let your smile be your most commonly worn accessory. It is beautiful, it is priceless, and it matches every outfit in your closet.