Keep record of your day

Do you journal?

I'll be the first to admit that sometimes journaling feels like a chore, a bore, and at times it even feels torturesome. (Yes I'm aware that's not really a word)

However, every time I do journal for a continued period of time, I see the benefit of doing so.

I'm not going to list the benefits, because I'm sure you already know them, and if you don't, they're simple a google or Pinterest search away.

There are probably tons of blogs about it, and that's not really the point of why I'm writing this.

So, why am I bringing this up you might ask...

Well here it is: I have been attending something called CR or Celebrate Recovery for almost the past 2 years. If you're like me, and you've never heard about this program before you're probably assuming that it's not something you need or could benefit from... but if you're breathing- it is!!!

You can click on the link above to learn more about it and you can even click HERE if you decide you'd like to check it out in person so you can call me a liar! 

(Please do go and check it out sometime)

I will likely share more about it in the future, as it is one the reasons I've decided to start my blog back up again after a couple years... 

So a few updates for those that know me, or care to learn more about me. Since the last time I blogged, we moved, bought our first home, got a second dog, I went back to work after being a stay ay home mama for 6 1/2 years. Then I got pregnant and didn't go back to work after maternity leave. I started and quit 3 more MLM/NWM adventures. I took on a leadership role in this special ministry. I have made some wonderful friends and of course now that I love where I am, the army is moving us again. 

Oh yeah, did I mention after lots of prayer and research I decided to homeschool my 7th, 3rd and 1st graders this year! Shortly after, my husband and I decided that we could make some more big changes to better serve our family... a decision we made was to downsize from our 2,250 sq ft home and buying a 230sq ft travel trailer for tiny and intentional living. (yes you read that right, almost a 90% downsizing)

No more packing and unpacking every 2-3yrs, just hitch up our home and go to the next place. We're almost 10yrs into this crazy military life and my husband plans on doing the full 20 so we have at least 4-5moves ahead of us.

He's training right now, he's been gone for a month and won't be home for another month. My life  as it is in this moment with 4 kids and 2 large dogs is a lot to manage on my own. 

I don't know what I'd do without my church family... We will have to be at our new duty station just a couple weeks after he gets home so my days here are tik-tok counting down. 

I've got to get our home ready to sell, pack and downsize and let go of all the things we've accumulated over the past few years and only hold on to the few essentials.

If you know me, I'm a Jane of all trades. I have a craft room full to the brims with supplies, tools, most new and some of my hidden purchases from when I was dealing with the depths of my depression binging on retail therapy... 

(my declining mental health is a major reason why I had stopped blogging in the first place)

So I'm having to let it ALL go, breaking my emotional attachment to things, trying to homeschool 3 kids while a baby screams and the dogs fight and bark at the wind and keep my sanity. To say I feel overwhelmed is an understatement, but it's such a blessing to have this forever family that prays for us and shows up for us when we need it

Anyway, back to the journaling... tonight at CR we had a lesson on taking a daily inventory of our actions. To paraphrase the speaker said "If you don't keep record of how, when, where you spend your money, you're likely to wonder where it goes, the same is to be said of your time/energy/peace. If you don't keep record of what happened in your day, it's harder to realize why you think/feel/react the way you do." 

And that really resonated with me.

On lesson nights we have a focus question for small groups, tonights question was about how a daily inventory can keep you from falling off the recovery wagon.

I shared that when I did keep my journal I was able to see the patterns and discover the triggers that kept popping up. 

If there are things in your life that confuse you, write them down. Yes it makes it real, acknowledging that you don't have it all together on paper can seem like too much, but awareness is where the road to freedom begins.

If you're like me, you might be asking/telling yourself "I wouldn't even know where to start, what do I even write?" 

"NO, none, everything, I prayed for someone, eventually, my kids, fear, not at all, direction."
These are my honest to goodness answers to these questions. I will likely not expand in a journal form tonight as its already past my bed time and I've got a sleeping baby latched on to my breast asleep in my arms as I type. (Yes I'm crunchy, I do baby led weaning and we co-sleep)
So with all that said, I hope I've inspired you to ask yourself some questions, to start or get back into journaling and taking care of yourself.
Journaling is a form of self care & self love. Don't let fear hold you back!!

I'll leave you with a quote I learned at Fearless Moms growth group this past spring-
"Guilt and shame (and fear) are like mold, they grow in the dark" it's time to get those thoughts and feelings out of your body, put them on paper (burn it after if you need to, or post anonymously online). But do keep a running gratitude list!!! Balance is imperative! There is bad but also good in every day.

My goal is to come back & write at least once a week. Looking forward to sharing this crazy, fun, emotional ride with you- if you know me- hold me accountable!!!!

In my feelings...

The other day on my drive to work I heard a story on the radio that broke my heart. It was about a young girl who had a terminal disease and had only days left of life. Her wish was to marry her best friend one day and he agreed. Mind you they were both under 10, never the less the parents set up a ceremony and they got "married". The young girl died just a couple days later...

It pained my heart but as much as I wanted to sit there and shed a tear, I was running late so I rushed out from my car and buried it. Almost toward the end of my 4 hour shift a little boy approached me and asked if I worked there. He told me his mom was having a hard time finding her size so I followed him back to his mother who had her back towards me.

"Mommy I found someone to help you!" he said excitedly as she turned around. Half of her face, chest and her left arm were covered in burn marks... "Malachi don't bother the lady, I'm ok" she said embarrassed avoiding eye contact. I asked her what size she needed and offered my help but she declined- so I wrote her size down for Malachi and showed him how to look for it on the drawers. He is 6yrs old and had a younger brother with him no older than 3. As they were leaving he approached me again and said  "I'm sad we couldn't find her size but thank you for your help." The look of disappointment in his eyes, like he let his mom down- it burned right through me.

I couldn't help but wonder what happened to her. Did she run into a burning building to save her sons? Did an abusive husband burn her in an act of violence for trying to keep her boys safe? I'll never know, but what I do know is that Malachi looked at his mother like she was the most beautiful woman in the world and he loves her deeply.

Then I got home and watched some Grey's Anatomy and cried my eyes out... There is so much that I feel through out my day that I can't react to, that finally being able to feel and express it openly from under my covers is a much needed cathartic release. And then after all of that, I get to lay down in my comfy bed, in my house, next to my loving husband, with our healthy loving children sleeping upstairs and our loyal dogs laying close by protective of us all. Overwhelmed with gratitude, I back to waterworks until I eventually fall asleep...

I used to hate being so darn sensitive and emotional, but I feel so blessed to have the ability to emphasize, sympathize and feel so deeply. Just as the smallest things can bring so much pain, they can also bring so much joy! It's almost funny when my 5yr old sees me tearing up and asks me "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" and I have to explain happy tears.

It's ok to feel folks! You're entitled to having emotions- just don't stay stuck in a bad one... Night will fall, but the sun will always rise again. 🌞

Clutter Free 2016

My husband and I recently started the process of buying our first home.
We will be moving from our current station in Fort Campbell, KY to Fort Myer, VA and with every move comes the horrible duty of packing.

 "Well Daisy, being in a military family, you should be used to frequent moves" You might say... and while yes, I know it comes with the territory I also have what you could call a bit of a hoarding issue  sentimental attachment to things and a crafty heart who wants to repurpose everything.

So my husband and I have this on-going battle about what will and won't go into our new home. He's a minimalist,and well I guess you could call me a maximist! lol

Any how I've recently gotten myself wrapped up in this system called Bullet Journaling and it's all about simplicity and order. I've been following a couple people who have inspired me and I've seen  some of the tools they use to track and maintain their activities and goals.

So I searched the web and I found a handy little thing on decluttering as many items as the current year. The one I found was for a different year (sorry I don't remember where I found it) and I made a similar chart to use in 2016 that Is helping me stay accountable and excited to see the progress. So i figured I could share it in case anyone else would find it useful. You can download it HERE

Anyhow the idea is to cross out a square each time you've gotten rid of an item. It seems like a lot, and I have A LOT! I've already gotten rid of 31 items and I have't even made a small dent in how much stuff I've "collected". You can get rid of a pair of shoes and mark it as 1 box or 2 (1 box per shoe) it's up to you.

Throw it away, sell it, donate it- whatever. As hard as it is to let go of my things, my husbands sanity & happiness is worth more. Besides, when I die I can't take of it with me and I fear they'd throw all my precious things out or worse- keep them! lol Anyhow, I hope you find this tool  useful- if you do, would you please let me know?

VIP Memberships | Avoid unwanted reoccurring charges & fees

Does anyone else subscribe to these things?

I'm currently subscribed to 4 VIP programs, and as much as I'm tempted to cancel when I forget to skip I can't! I'm earning points and qualifying for discounts and goodies! 

Hahaha, leave to a shopaholics to spend $43 extra to get free shipping on the $7 item they want and save themselves from  paying the $5 shipping charge right?

So any how, you CAN have your cake and eat it too! Keep your subscriptions AND avoid the "random unexpected" charges.

Remember that subscriptions are how these businesses keep up their monthly sales. 

They do give you 5 whole days to skip your month and they will NOT penalize you for skipping. 

I have 3 tips that help me personally with  avoiding those fees! Check out my video below <3

You can't fail unless you quit!

Rebirth: Reese's Pieces

Some time in 2013 I decided I wanted to try my hand at photography.

 Back in 2011 after I gave birth to my 2nd daughter, I saw so many cute clothes & bedding. I wanted to buy her everything but  I didn't have the money. So instead I bought a sewing machine and I decided I'd make her those cute things myself. 

I named my sewing business Cuties By: D-Zign. I couldn't just be a stay at home mom with a hobby, I was determined to work for my coffee habit, so I decided I would sell my work. I came up with the name "Cuties" because  have 3 cuties of my own, "D-Zign" because I Daisy (AKA DayZ) was "De-Ziging" my little creations. 

Fast forward to 2013, I was trying to sell my things on Etsy but I felt like I just couldn't compare to the great sellers on there. Their listings had great photos and they looked so well presented. My little phone took the grainiest pictures ever so I convinced my husband I needed a DSLR & we invested in a Canon Rebel T3 .  

From the moment I opened my camera and took my first picture  (without a lens) I was in love. I had absolutely NO IDEA what the heck I was doing or how to work it but within me I just felt like I was born for it. I was so excited about my brand new camera that I announced myself as a photographer while shooting in full auto in my kit lens. 

I had no editing software outside of BeFunky  and looking back... damn I was a mess. Good thing I didn't charge for those sessions.

Anyhow, I tried to bring my business name over to my photography but it was too long. So I went with "CBDZ Photography" and I have hated it since. 

Last year while my husband was deployed, I  decided to upgraded a   to a Canon EOS 70D not because I had fully mastered my camera but because I wanted to force myself out of the automatic settings into more of a manual side. I am totally love with my new camera & I'm still learning to master it. 

My husband also got me the Adobe Photoshop & Premiere Elements  software so I could edit more "professionally". I love it because it comes with photo AND video editing software ! I enjoy making home videos and stuff so it's perfect for me! It certainly helped my stand out and improve my work.

This year for Valentines He blessed me with an Apple MacBook Pro and Wacom Small Tablet editing!He really surprises me with his thoughtfulness and loving heart. I cannot stress how blessed I am to have such a supporting husband  who believes in my potential.

I have been taking some time off business to redefine my brand and identity. I've changed my name to Reese's Pieces Photography & settled on my color palette. I have been playing with my new tools to give new life to my old work.

and I've gotta say I can really see improvement and I'm going to toot my own horn here! TOOT TOOT! I am so exited about personal growth in this area of skill. I'm not yet where I want to be, but I'm so far off from where I started. There were so many times that I felt like I was going nowhere but I'm glad I didn't quit! No way I'm giving up on something I love this much. So "Note to Self:

What it means to be a Mom Pt.1

Sometime in December I convinced my husband that I needed another book.
You see I have a been building a collection for quite some time but I don't always quite read them, or if I start reading I don't always finish it.
I asked him to get me this-->1001 Things it Means to Be a Mom: (the Good, the Bad, and the Smelly)I hadn't opened it until recently and I'm hooked. I wasn't sure what to expect (because I hadn't read any reviews) but I was very interested in what it meant to someone else to be a mom.
As a stay at home mom it's quite simple to take this precious blessing for granted. Stepping on toys in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom, one interrupted shower after another due to ear piercing screams. The joys of cleaning permanent marker scribbles on the wall and removing bubble gum from hair.
Being a mom is not an easy task, some days it drains me, other days it irritates me... but every night when the lights are out and there's finally a little bit of peace I'm grateful for my tittle.

As I was reading along there were quite a few things that resonated with me and I wanted to share to see if maybe you can relate.

 7. Being a mom means getting mad that your husband doesn't get upset about the same things you do.

Let me tell ya, more often than not my husband see things very differently. Especially regarding the gender wars!!! His girls are perfect princesses and my little prince is a big cry baby in his eyes. I hold higher standards for my girls because I know how the world can be for a girl. Equally I cut my boy some slack because, well because he's adorable and his kisses and "I love you"s make it ever impossible to stay mad at him. So yeah, definitely it's true! Being a mom means a lot of explaining to your husband why you're upset.

16. Being a mom means being wiling to be disliked by your kids.

This one made me cry. My kids are only 2, 3 & 7 so I haven't got the verbal expression of this. I can be quite stern (my husband dubbed me "The Warden") and I know my kids don't like me very much when I enforce the rules. It reminds me of all the times my mother put her foot down and I stormed away. I was so upset that my friend and their moms were best friends but mine wasn't approachable... and I realize now that I had enough friends so I'm glad my mom stayed my mom- even when I told her I didn't like her.

29. Being a mom means taking a vacation away from the kids.

I'm on mom duty 24/7/365. The hours are long, the environment is chaotic, the breaks can be non existent and the stress levels can be quite overwhelming. Truth is I need a break every now and then. We can't afford to get away for the week while someone watches the kids like most families, so I live on mini vacations. A walk around Wal-Mart without someone demanding my attention can be quite relaxing.

42. Being a mom means cooking dinner while everyone else is watching T.V.

I have a love hate relationship with the T.V.! When my husband was deployed to Afghanistan last year, the T.V. was off most of the day. I didn't want to get distracted so we saved T.V. for bed time where we could all cuddle and enjoy the show. Now that daddy is home I can do more of what I need to do but I feel excluded from what was our family time. When I'm finally ready to settle in and get my show on I can't- keep tight for

51. Being a mom means keeping your relationship with your husband a priority.

Bed time is the only time my husband and I have to ourselves.  Even then on some nights little ones crawl into our bed and wedge between us. So that little time before we fall asleep I like to turn my attention to him. I hear a lot of women say their kids come first- but that logic is flawed. You had your husband before you had your kids & when your kids are long gone it's your husband who will remain. Your husband is the most important and precious connection. Your success partner, your better half, the spiritual leader- He needs you as much as the kids need him. Prioritize him!

79. Being a mom means being shocked at the PG-13 movie you're watching with your kids.

Oh my goodness! Even cartoons really shock and appall me! The innuendo and acceptance of crude language and behavior is quite scary. I don't remember the media being so bad back in my day- or maybe it was but I didn't catch on. If it's not a Disney, I'm in constant fear of the next scene.

100. Being a mom means worrying that you've become your mother.

There's days when I open my mouth and my mother comes out... I didn't get along very well with my mother and I worry that my kids will see me the way I saw her. I don't want to become my mother but now I understand the reasoning behind the rules and punishments...

Being a mom can be quite exhausting, while very fulfilling and all together quite scary. There are many others In the first 100 things that had me laughing or nodding to- but I just wanted to share a few with you. Stay tuned for parts 2- 10!

Jr (2)

Sam (3)

Me & Nevy (7)